For every man out there who has touched the life of a child, and changed it in some positive way forever, today is definitely your day. There is so much more to the meaning of the word Father than most of us consider, and more than a few fellows who qualify for the honored title, but who may not even realize it.

For myself, if I were far better at sending cards and sentiments (ok I am a poor mailer of paper goods), there would be no shortage of guys to get my congrats on this hallowed occasion. Sadly many of those I would honor have long since left this world, so sharing with others is my only way to acknowledge them today.

Of course there is my biological father, still living, though we have not spoken in many years. I remain grateful for the actions on his part that presented me to the world. Although we hold many differences of opinion that might never permit us to be close, I am thankful for his contribution to my being here.

Next I would have to say a big thanks to all the grandfathers who were here and there in my growing up years. Some were biological to me and others simply “logical” to me and I loved them all. I hold special memories of one grandpa Olan, long since passed into the mist of time, who was the adoptive (though not legally) dad of my own adoptive (though not legally) dad. His home was right behind our own growing up. The feeling of running like the wind to get the popsicles he waved out his side door to lure us across that space between, makes me want to cry and eat a orange twinsicle at the same time. I miss him, and sadly I think only my siblings and I can, as we are his only heritage here.

The son grandpa Olan raised (though never legally his) was my own adoptive father (though I was never legally his). George, who also has been passed from this world, for five long years now, did most of the raising of me. It is funny that people claim you can never be more connected than you can to a biological parent, but for me the most emotional and devastating time in my adulthood, was to face the sudden loss of the man who was my father by default. I can’t imagine being any more grief stricken, had his blood run through me.

During my childhood there were also teachers, close relatives, friends of my fathers, and fathers of my friends who filled the need I had for that certain kind of male guidance. To list them all here would be an enormous task so I simply suffice to say, if you know me when, I am thinking about you today with gratitude.

As a grown child of many fathers, I am also in awe today of my own children’s many connections to many fathers. Absolutely my dear husband is the largest influence over them I am sure, but they also have other dads and dad types who support who they are becoming in this world. Sometimes the way in which my husband parents our children, he reaches back and parents the “little me” that might have missed this and that back then, and reaches forward to grab it now. He is might not know it, but he has a huge task, and awesome responsibility. He is shaping the future, and reshaping the past in one gentle gesture.

I am also grateful to all three of my children’s birthfathers, those whom I have met, and one who I have not had the pleasure yet. There are so many things that they gifted to these children by way of their bringing them into being, and I don’t think they can imagine how much that means. That they shared this part of themselves with me, makes me feel very much as if I know them all, and with a higher degree of closeness than they might ever understand.

For my son there are also two precious birth - grandfathers whom he will never meet this side of heaven. Both his birthparents lost their own dear fathers many years ago, but my hope is our son will return a piece of them to the world through his loving and gentle nature. If I could shake their hand it would not be enough, so I embrace my son and hold their image in my heart today.

For so many of us today is a day to fondly and gratefully respect and remember the men who shaped our lives. There is more meaning to the moniker of “Father” than can ever be placed in simple terms. Fathers are contributors, guides, influences, examples. They can also be supports, educators, examples of imagined goals, or even evidence of the path NOT to follow in our own lives. It doesn’t matter if they are ours by biology, or only by the claim taken out in our hearts, they are important, they are Fathers, and they are worthy of a moment in time for our esteem and reflection.

Happy Father’s Day, to ALL the special men out there, you know who you are!

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Photo- Jean Monti-Daddys Little Girl