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Head ups ya’ll! Here is your last time to go wild before Ash Wednesday! Break out your beads and little feathered head gear and go a little crazy. While I have never been one to do any topless dancing for beads (let’s face it I would put an eye out with these thangs), I do however wonder about the way people celebrate before such a somber time. Isn’t it a bit weird?
This breaking free in celebration is the Christian world experiencing true joy over the sacrifice they know is to come. Soon Jesus will put his own life aside in favor of our salvation. What a great gift! You do not have to be a Christian to wonder about the seeming excess of joy at this time though. Aren’t we forgetting that He gave up to the greatest degree for us? How could we not then be totally ashamed of a celebration so public? You could even liken this to some similar feelings with intense life events, like the adoption of a child.
As adopting parents do you recall feeling a rush of excitement and celebration after your child was born, but before they were placed with you forever? Do you remember feeling the height of excitement, and the depth of shame all mixed together at the same time? I know that I did. When each of my children came into the world, I wanted to dance in the street. I wanted to shout to the world about the joy I felt. To know that this day I thought I was so undeserving of, that I was so sure would never arrive, was finally here! It was incredible! At the very same time I felt such a sense of immense shame to be feeling that way. I mean how could I forget that someone was making such a sacrifice in order for this to occur?
Let me just say now, no I don’t equate birthparents to Saints, or to Jesus Himself, but I do see the huge sacrifice when such a decision as placement is made. It is a selfless thing to put aside your own desires for your child. I also acknowledge that birthparents do not place their children to make adoptive parents happy. They do it for the greater good of their child. For me allowing myself to feel the full joy of becoming a parent could outwardly appear not to acknowledge that fact (especially if I’m covered in feathers and beads). Instead now I think (sort of like Fat Tuesday), that an adoptive parent’s displaying a full sense of joy serves to lift up in gratitude the sacrifice a birthparent makes for a child. What a tremendous degree of love a birthparent expresses in that action. The height of what exemplifies a good parent. Thinking of it this way if would almost seem weird not too celebrate.
From the earliest time of humanity it seems the connection between deep sorrow and intense joy can be seen as so very close. Perhaps it’s that way for a purpose? To appreciate the sacrifice we must feel the pains, but that then allows us to also experience the true, true joy. Those who adopt might feel like they should not show the joy of welcoming their child, that it takes away from the gift that their birthparents make to them and the pain it involves. I think it is ok, to feel your joy, and to remember their grief and sacrifice through it. And if it makes you feel any better, send them beads every year, tons of them, and tell them that each one holds a million wishes of thanks for the joy that they shared with you.
Happy Fat Tuesday Ya’ll!
