My son’s birthday was last week and I was a bit disappointed that neither of his birth parents could make it for the party this year. His birthmom P did call though, and we had a short conversation about how everyone is doing. Each of us wished that being together for our son on his big day had been an option. I can only imagine how much more frustrating it will become, if and when she decides to return to her home country, and our contact becomes more difficult to maintain.

I am not quite sure how others in open adoptions keep the relationships solid when the families may be miles apart physically. This is the first year for our family, that one birthparent has moved away from our home state, everyone else still lives just a short drive from us. Unfortunately we have already had a few issues with the snail mail between us. My son’s baby brother’s Christmas package is still missing in action, so I have lost a lot of my confidence in using the USPS to get things there for me.

With the many easy methods of communication available in this day and age, you would think that keeping an open adoption going across the miles would be a piece of cake, but that is only if all those involved are willing and able. I know in our son’s open adoption, although his birthparents do care, they are not very big on mailing letters or sending emails. The father they get from us, the less we will hear from them I am afraid.

There must be some effective ways to keep everyone active in an established open adoption, even when their lives change and they migrate father and farther apart. I know I am the poor one for printing and sending out photos of the kids, so I have established a website that hosts our photos. I can upload them when I am able, and birthfamily can view them when they are ready. I know of others who also add to this a written blog so they can jot down ideas and information as it comes up, and other family and friends can check in when ever they wish to get the latest. For my own family, these are some of the easiest ways to keep in touch.

Some other things that I have considered are sending a set of pre-stamped and addressed cards once or twice a year, so all birthfamily need do is jot down a few thoughts and pop it in the mail to us. We have also included pre-paid phone cards in our letters to them to encourage calls when it might otherwise be difficult or expensive for them. I know time passes, things change, and often contact becomes more difficult for everyone in an open adoption. Trying to do what I can to help keep the lines of communication open is important to me, I am always looking for new and interesting ways to accomplish that.

Contact, Seeing Things Differently

Family, In My Arms... And A World Away

Visits - Time, Distance And Delays



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