In my last two posts I have written about family and adoption, more specifically how some of our family members may be hesitant in participating in your open adoption.

My parents were a little hesitant about open adoption. When I told them of my pregnancy, my Mom asked if I would receive pictures of Charlie over the years and with tears in her eyes, she asked if I would show them to her. I of course said yes and tried to explain a little bit (I wasn’t that educated on the subject back then) about open adoption to her. S and A had offered to meet my parents if they wanted to. My Dad did not want to meet them prior to the birth, but my Mom did. I had S, A, their daughter, and Mom come over one night to meet. It went pretty well.

My Mom didn’t see them again until I was in the hospital being prepped for an emergency c-section. I don’t know really what was said during that time. But after Charlie was born, the next day, she came and brought a few gifts for Charlie and N, his sister, which meant a lot to me and to S and A as well.

At first, I tried really hard to keep Charlie and his family separate from my parents because I didn’t think they wanted to see him. I soon realized that was not going to work. I couldn’t choreograph separate arrival and departure times for them or throw two birthday parties, that just was not going to work any longer. I wanted this to be a true open adoption that would allow Charlie and Noah to know that they were siblings and in order to do that I needed to be able to include them in the things that I include other members of my extended family in.

Also, at that time my wedding was approaching and I really wanted Charlie and his family to be a big part of that day and I couldn’t very well have two weddings so I finally came to the realization that if I’m ok with this arrangement, then my parents needed to be ok with it too, for me.

As things have progressed, they really don’t have any qualms about seeing Charlie anymore. We’ve even had one visit at my parent’s house.

Sure, their relationship with Charlie isn’t exactly the same as their relationship with Noah but they are able to be a part of his life and he is able to see that other people in his birth family love him too.

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Photo: My parents and Charlie, taken by Coley

Related Posts:
Family and Adoption Part 1 and Part 2
Open Adoption Despite the Disapproval