When most people think about ethics in the adoption process, they think about what those who are adopting children are doing. Adoptive parents are often seen as the only people with control over the level of ethics in an adoption, but this is untrue. While others such as potential birthparents and adoption professionals also bear varying levels of responsibility, adopting parents do have a need to be throughly informed about the potential placement of a child they might accept.

Being able to make good judgements for adopting parents depends heavily on potential birthparents and adoption professionals, and the information that they share with potential parents. Even without good ethical information available though, adopting parents need to step forward and seek whatever information they can. If good information about a possible adoption is unavailable, adopting parents might need to be able to walk away from a situation that can then seem unethical.

One of the first things adopting parents can do toward ensuring an ethical adoption is to make sure that they have researched what they are doing and are in compliance with the laws of their state or country. Adoptive parents must be able to educate themselves about the experiences of birthparents and adoptees and be prepared to face the unique issues that adoption brings to their family. Adopting parents also need to be honest about their abilities. What can they offer a child, and what kind of child they can effectively parent, as well as the level of commitment and contact they will follow through with are important things to be honest and up front about.

Sometimes adopting couples might be tempted to leave out important information about themselves in a homestudy, but that really is unethical behavior, and can leave a placing mother making a decision she feels is well informed, but truly isn’t. A couple might also be tempted to offer money and gifts in order to sway a mother in her decision, to earn her trust toward an adoption placement, and that is also unethical. Couples preparing to adopt need to be prepared to step back and accept their more limited role in the initial placement decision.

Allowing a mother her space in making her decision about an adoption placement is another way adopting parents can keep an ethical focus. Knowing the mom’s desires and honoring them is important for all involved. If a mother wants her time alone at the hospital she should be respected for her requests. Hopeful adoptive couples must also be prepared to possibly return a child to a birthparent if they enact their right to revoke adoption consents during the allowable time. While that might not be an easy thing to prepare for, it is essential toward ethically protecting the times allowed first parents to legally revisit their decisions.

Adoptive parents should also be concerned about obtaining and retaining information for the adopted child. Getting information about birthparent history and preserving it for the child, as well as getting a copy of the original, unamended birth certificate are some of the ways that parents can ensure that an adopted child is treated ethically. Telling a child that they have been adopted from the start and being honest and companionate when sharing birthparent history is another.

Everyone involved in a decision for a child’s adoption should be aware of doing so in an ethical way. Adopting parents also have a responsibility to look for legal and ethical ways to see the children who enter their families have done so in the best and safest way possible.


Ethics In Adoption, Individual Responsibility - Birthparents