When the adoption community speaks about ethics in adoption, the burdens and responsibilities fall to all of us in society. Often though, fingers are pointed at only one segment of those involved, and either unfairly place all the blame for faulty adoptions on one party, or minimize the respect equally due to every member of the triad. To address this discrepancy in my own thought process I wanted to explore where some ethical responsibilities might initially come into play.

To begin with we can look at birth/first parent responsibilities. Potential birthparents have a great deal to bring into the placement decision to insure that it is an ethical one, although often they do not realize this. When people speak of coercion of bithparents, it is more often than not because other parties encourage a women to consider one option over another, and do not just support her in educating herself and making a decision of her own from all collective information.

When a woman first considers adoption, it's her responsibility to truly think about why this may or may not be an option for her and her child. No one else better knows the circumstances of her life, and the abilities she possesses to go forward as a parent, or to chose to relinquish her baby. This mother-to-be has to reach deep down within herself and find what is uniquely her own solution.

If a woman begins to feel that adoption may be a valid consideration for her child, it is then her additional responsibility to do all the research, gather all the information, consider all the pros and cons that she can. She has to discover for herself how this may or may not fit into her life, and how this consideration will effect her child.

When adoption becomes the direction a mother is leaning toward, there comes with this a new assortment of ethical concerns for her. Is she fairly informing and involving the father? Does she share the correct and accurate information for her child with the adoption agency or potential adopting parents? Has she a clear understanding of her rights as a parent, and also legal rights after a potential surrender for adoption?

For a mother to chose not to disclose information in this beginning stage of the adoption, it can lead to ethical issues and moral dilemmas later that can harm her child and a family he or she might have been living with or bonding with for some time. A biological father who might have wanted to parent his child may be denied the option because information was withheld. The adoptive family who may have been through excruciating losses already, may be open to the unforeseen loss of a placed child, because full information was not provided. Will the adoptive family struggle to raise a child who was exposed to things in utero, that a mother did not share with them during the consideration process? What a woman chooses makes a difference, so it should not be entered into lightly.

Choosing adoption is never an easy decision for any birth/first parent, but choosing wisely and ethically will hopefully lessen the other potential trauma and losses for everyone involved.

The Responsibility Of Choices

A Perfect World = No Adoption

To be continued in - Ethics In Adoption, Individual Responsibility - Adoptive Parents

Also coming soon... Ethics In Adoption, Individual Responsibility - Adoption Professionals