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Some where along the way, I don’t think I stopped and took enough time to explain Charlie’s role in Noah’s life to Noah. When I was pregnant with Charlie, he was barely four years old and being shuffled between my home and my parent’s home a lot. I didn’t think he would understand very much so I didn’t really explain a whole lot.
As he began to grow up, I did explain things to him in age appropriate terms and language at times when I thought he was able and ready to learn and understand. I did explain that he and Charlie shared the same mother, but I think I failed to emphasize the fact that although Charlie and Noah don’t live in the same home, they are indeed brothers.
A (Charlie’s adoptive mother) has done an awesome job at explaining, validating, and honoring the connection between Charlie and Noah. Charlie is very aware of the fact that he and Noah are siblings and he often refers to Noah as his brother when talking about Noah to other people.
Although a small part of me feels that I failed Noah by not emphasizing his connection with Charlie sooner, I guess it is better late than never. So lately I have been working more on that, on emphasizing the brotherly bond they share by referring to Charlie as Noah’s brother when we are talking about Charlie, looking at pictures of him, or getting ready for a visit.
Sometimes it is bittersweet for me. I recall such fond memories of having a sibling as a child. I adored my little brother and was very protective of him. I hope that although they don’t live under the same roof that in some way, shape, or form Noah will be able to have something similar to what I did with my own brother since Charlie could very well be the only sibling Noah ever has.
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Better late than never, Coley. That’s why I work with N and eventually P on this one. I want him to have that understanding. Good job on the work you’re putting in!
Thanks Jenna!
I feel really bad I didn’t do it sooner, but oh well, can’t change that now only move forward. The good news is, Noah’s getting it! He signed “brother” in reference to Charlie the other day without being prompted!