e-mail
Today I was very relieved to get an email from my son’s birthmother P. While I know she is busy, she recently moved to another state, and she welcomed her baby boy M in May, I was beginning to get worried after not hearing from her in awhile. Trust me talking to her answering machine was becoming very disturbing, because I was beginning to feel an emotional connection with the electronic robo voice that files her messages away. Ok, it was not that bad, and I am not that strange, but I was wondering if everyone was still onboard with this open adoption gig.
I know our contact was tons less complicated when P lived just a few hours drive away in the same state. It was also much easier in some ways to get together before she had little M, even though I know he has brought a new focus and happiness to her life. Neither one of us has ever been good at emails or writing letters, so things regarding our contact really have changed quite a bit with out the more frequent face to face visits.
Right now we are planning a possible visit in early October. I hope things come together because with the distance and new obligations in P’s life I realize how very easy at this juncture it would be to simply fall out of touch. I hope that never does happen, but with my own busy life, I admit that I worry that it could.
They don’t have a handbook that tells people involved in open adoptions how it will really feel when things change, and the frequency and type of contact is less consisitant. There is no way to know until it happens to you, and every situation is as different as the people involved. I wish they did have a road map for getting things easily back on track, because I know I am having concerns about how to keep things here regular and connected.
The main this is, I GOT EMAIL! I am so relieved! I am also expecting a call, or to be making one to P before the weekend is over, who ever catches the other first. At that time I am hoping we can cement some plans for the October visit. I know my little boy is very excited because this will be the first real visit with his new baby brother. Just thinking about seeing them, taking pictures, sharing stories, and catching up is doing tons to lift my mood today. Thank goodness for the email factor, without it I would still be waiting and wondering, and perhaps getting to attached to the robo message man.
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Aw, I’m glad you heard from her, Deb and that you know all is ok on her end! I hope things work out for the visit in October!!