The pastors at my church like to do different learning series. We did the famous Rick Warren series right when it began to hit it big. We’ve done a series about ministering to others as well as different series on things involved with being a Christian, books of the Bible, seasonal things, etc… I usually enjoy them and learn a lot.

The current five week series we have embarked on really has me thinking, not about what we are learning per say but about people in the church. The current series is entitled “PG: Parental Guidance Required.” While the series is kind of based on the “it takes a village to raise a child” theory, it discusses things such as disciplining your child, how to teach your child to have faith in Christ, etc. I think that these are important and worthwhile things that I need to learn as a parent, but my mind keeps drifting over to think about other members of my church family and how painful it must to be to hear for some of them.

What about the loving couple who would make amazing parents, who has been struggling with infertility for years and has no children, how does this series make them feel? What about the birthmother sitting in the back row who has told very few people at church about the child she placed for adoption nearly twenty years ago? What about the parents of baby angels whose children either died before they were born, at birth, or still later on in life due to illness or tragic accident? What about the woman who had an abortion seven years ago at the pressure of an abusive boyfriend and now regrets it? I’m not describing fictional church members; these are actual people I know who are members of my church family.

I don’t have a perfect answer. I don’t think the church should necessarily skip a series like this because we do have so many parents who could benefit from it, but my mind definitely does think about the others in my church who may not be parents as this time and how this series must hurt their hurts.

I’m also curious as to whether or not I would have these same thoughts and feelings if I had not become a birthmother. I think that becoming a birthmother has made me more aware of these things and more thoughtful in these areas.


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My Church and National Adoption Awareness Month