When most families seeking to adopt consider open contact they often think about the following...

* Meeting the birthparents initially in person.

* Exchanging some sort of basic information about yourselves (first names, basic health and background)

* Verbal (sometimes written) agreements to correspond, send pictures and information about the child for a determined period of time, often indirectly and via the agency.

This can be termed as “Open Adoption” in the most basic sense. Compared to decades ago this is huge change from the closed adoptions that were most common. No one knew names, no one had a means to contact each other even through the adoption agency who believed that this was in the best interest of the adopted child.

Even though you will hear a lot today about open adoption, most of them still fall under the most basic description I first mentioned. It has been my experience that when what I would term a Fully Open Adoption occurs it is still rare, much more defined and often initiated beyond the adoption agency together by the families who are placing and receiving the child themselves. As the concept of contact in adoption is changing to a more fully open arrangement for many, often set up without any road map, I wanted to put down my own concept of what fully open can mean.

To begin with a Fully Open Adoption can involve...

* Meeting birthparents/family initially in person, often several times before the birth, many times involving extended family and friends.

* Exchanging complete identifying information, names, addresses, phone numbers, emails. Complete health background for the child.

* Written, (although they are not always legally binding) agreements to correspond, send pictures and information about the child. Agreements for frequent future visits, gatherings, calls.

* Visits are arranged and agreed upon by the involved families and often take place in the homes of birth and adoptive families.

* Adoptive parents obtaining an original birth certificate for their child prior to finalization of the adoption and amending of the birth certificate. The child having access to this information as they are growing up.

* Contact is actually communication between the involved families. The feel of the level of communication could be easily compared to how you see and relate to your extended family.

* The child as they become old enough to do so, actively participates in communications and visits and is given proper information about family relationships (as in told exactly who birthparents and siblings are and not given false information such as describing birthmom as an “Aunt”).


As many open adoptions become more fully open, those of us who have already made the commitment to make this possible for our children are setting a standard for those who follow us.

Now I would like to hear from YOU!

What things have you done that make your child’s adoption more Fully Open?