My co blogger, Deb, recently wrote a great post from the adoptive parents’ point of view on what would happen to her children’s relationships with their birthparents should something happen to Deb and her husband before the children are grown.

This is something that I have thought about as a birthparent as well. A and I have discussed this before. In fact, she has brought it up more than once over the years. It is not something that was discussed before Charlie was born though and something that we probably should have discussed but not something that I thought about.

A has told me who will receive custody of Charlie and his sister should the unthinkable happen to her and S before Charlie and N are grown up. I’ve met these people on a few occasions. A has assured me that they know how important open adoption is to the kids and that it is written in their papers that they must maintain contact with myself as well as N’s birthmother. But as Deb brought up in her post, the amount of contact would be likely to change. I also don’t have the history or relationship that I do with them that I do with A and S.

Another thing that birthparents in open adoptions should think about is about the relationship between their parented child or children and their placed child should the unthinkable happen to them (the birthparents). This is something that J and I gave a lot of thought too when choosing who would care for Noah should something to us. I wanted to make sure whoever we chose would keep the relationship between Charlie and Noah in tact and foster that relationship until they are old enough to have a relationship on their own without parental or guardian involvement.

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Related Posts:
Death, Dying, and Making Plans in Open Adoption
When Your Child's Birthfamily Loses a Loved One
Dealing with Sickness