This scenario could go two different ways, but the end result is the same, you are separated by many miles from your child and your child’s family. Before I dive into the subject at hand, let me say, that I understand not everyone placed their child with adoptive parents in the same area, so this is geared towards those who do…

You place your child in an open adoption agreement and are able to see him or her periodically but then because of career choices, family situations, or other circumstances on either your part or your child’s family’s part, you (scenario number one) decide to move or your child’s parents (scenario number two) decide to move their family across the state, country, or even to another country, making visits trickier or less often.

Honestly this would be hard for me to deal with. I currently live pretty close to Charlie, (about an hour and fifteen minutes away) so I’m able to pick up the phone, call A, and say “Hey, let’s meet for dinner tonight” and we are able to do just that. I actually live further away from him now than I did at placement. During my pregnancy while I was making my adoption plan and until he was about four months old, I lived in the same city as he did; only about fifteen minutes away.

But some birthmoms do not choose adoptive parents who are local so the only thing they know is dealing with the distance while others (like myself) live within a pretty close proximity and would have a few issues arise if we ended up on other sides of the country. My hubby and I have discussed the possibility of him being transferred to another state at some point so this is potentially an issue that I might have to deal with. I’ve mentioned this possibility to A before and although I’m sure she’d much rather me stay close, she understands that we have to do what is best for our family and I know we’d work things out and come up with some kind of plan to still see each other.

I would not be angry with Charlie’s adoptive parents if they decided that their family needed to move for one reason or another and I know that S and A will be understanding as well if J and I end up moving. The most important thing to me in either scenario (them moving or us moving) would be to make sure that Charlie still felt loved.

To be continued....