I was reading a recent article out of out of an Oklahoma City newspaper about the cost of adoption. Often times it is adoptive parents that we hear discussing and complaining (and rightly so!) about the cost of adoption, but it also a troubling issue for me and possibly other birth parents as well for a few different reasons.

First of all, on the emotional side of this issue, the cost of adoption and all the discussion that goes along with it can sometimes make me feel like I “sold my baby.” Of course, I did not. I didn’t receive any financial compensation for placing my son and if it had ever been suggested I would have run the other way. But putting a dollar sign on the cost of adoption in some ways is like putting a dollar sign on my son’s head.

On my more practical side, I feel that the cost of adoption actually has nothing to do with my son at all. The cost accrued with adoption is supposed to pay adoption agency fees, adoption attorney fees, paper work fees, filing fees, court costs, etc. Sometimes, adoptive parents pay living expenses for the expectant mother they have been matched with which also increases the cost of their adoption. But, the part I don’t grasp is why those fees are so hefty.

When I placed Charlie for adoption, I ended up doing a private, independent adoption that went through an adoption attorney and cost less than an agency adoption. It was not my initial intent to do an independent adoption, but just worked out that way. Now, knowing what I do about the cost of adoption and particularly the cost of agency adoption versus private adoptions, I’m glad that it worked out the way it did, although it was still expensive. As a birthmother, I would much rather the adoption cost less so that the saved money could be applied towards Charlie’s college fund or something that would benefit him.

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