In the past few days, I’ve written a lot about how I do choose to acknowledge my birthmotherhood by joining with other birthmother’s for a Birthmother’s Day event. But that doesn’t mean that I don’t hurt on Mother’s Day or grieve the loss of my motherhood to Charlie; because I do. Unlike birthmothers who are first time Mothers are I have celebrated Mother’s Days in the past, but even though I am with Noah on Mother’s Day, there is still a piece of my heart that misses mothering Charlie more than usual on Mother’s day.

So, how do you cope?
There’s been a lot of talk about that here in the blogs recently. Fellow birthmom blogger Jenna shared what works for her. Faith in the Hoping to Adopt Blog has been doing an extensive series on ways to cope with Mother’s Day and although it is not written specifically for birthmothers, many of the same strategies do work.

I have a few suggestions of my own.

• Do something special for yourself or pampering on Mother’s Day or Birthmother’s Day. Go get a manicure or a pedicure, you deserve it!



• Treat yourself to dinner at your favorite restaurant.



• Hang out with supportive friends or family. You might want to give them a heads up about how you might be feeling.



• Journal about your thoughts and feelings.



• If scrapbooking is your thing, get together with some friends and scrapbook some photos of your child.
  Spend some quality time with your mother, mother figure, or children you are parenting if you have others. Plan something fun for all of you to do together.



• Take a bubble bath, light some candles, and read a good book.(One of my personal favorites!

Also, give yourself permission to feel the way you feel. It’s ok to be sad. If this is not your first Mother’s Day as a birthmother, you know undoubtedly no matter how much you prepare or how many coping strategies you have, there are bound to be tears and overwhelming emotions at some point on Mother’s Day.

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Related posts:
Honoring Your Child's Birthmom
Birthmom's Day
One Birthmother’s Experience with the Dreaded Holiday
Mother’s Day or Birthmother’s Day?