Communication is an integral part of open adoptions. More than just that, communication is an integral part of any relationship. Without communication, relationships (and open adoption) would be nothing. To get anywhere in a relationship and to have a meaningful relationship (an open adoption) communication is a key factor!

Communication in open adoptions can be between birthmom and child or birthmom to adoptive parents. In the beginning, when your child is still an infant, communication lies between the birthmom and adoptive parents.

Sometimes open adoption relationships are very difficult. No one exactly knows their place or where they stand with each other. Many times, they have never been in this type of relationship, so it’s all new to them. Often times, especially in the beginning of an open adoption arrangement, both parties may feel like they are walking on eggshells with each other. The adoptive parents don’t want to do or say anything to upset the birthmom or make things more difficult and painful for her. At the same time, the birthmom doesn’t want to do or say things to make the adoptive parents uncomfortable.

Here are a few pointers on healthy communication:

• Be honest. If something makes you uncomfortable, politely say so. If you can’t handle communication on that particular day, politely say so.



• Don’t over talk. Give the other person a chance to share his or her thoughts.



• Respect a difference of opinions and lifestyles.



• Don’t always assume the worst. For example, if you were supposed to receive a phone call at say three pm and by four you have heard nothing, don’t automatically assume the worst, that they hate you and no longer want contact with you.



• Be practical and know your limitations. If you emotionally can’t handle a suggested idea, it’s ok to let the other person know you have reached your limit.

Just be open and honest!