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Yesterday, I discussed the comments that people make when they find out you are a birthmom. I gave a few examples of what I say to people when they make comments to me regarding my birthmother status. 
Today, I will share a few tips on what you can do to deal with the comments.
- Smile and thank for them for inquiring about your child. This isn’t always to do but I’m southern and my Miss Manners lessons come out and I feel the need to be polite. Wouldn’t my Momma be proud?
- Bring up the positive. When people are sympathetic or feel sorry for you, you can bring up positive things about your child or your situation. Granted adoption isn’t the best thing in the world but I can’t stand people feeling sorry for me so I will bring up something positive about my son or my situation.
- Let them know that you still care about and love your child. I feel the need to dispel any underlying birthmother stereotypes that may be hidden in the mind of the person I am chatting with, so I let them know that even though my child isn’t with me and I’m not raising him, that I love him very much and that he holds a special place in my heart.
- Show off pictures and brag about your child! You are still a Mom and still have the right to be proud of your child. So if you are feeling comfortable in the conversation and want to show off pictures, go right ahead! Nothing makes me prouder than an opportunity to show off pictures of my handsome boys.
- If their questions get to nosey, politely let them know that they are crossing the line. Most of the time people don’t mean to be rude; they just forget to think before opening their mouths!
If you have some tips on what you have done in response to comments about being a birthmom, please share!
I still need to work on these myself. 3 years later. Sigh.