Trimming the tree, buying gifts, holiday parties, trips to see Santa, special church services, baking cookies, Christmas morning breakfast; the holiday season is supposed to be a festive one. Many friends and families come together to celebrate this festive season. Yet, the happiest time of the year isn’t always happy for everyone. There are many people who have lost loved ones who have a really hard time during the holidays.

The holidays are also a busy and stressful time of the year for many people, even those without loss. The constant activities, holiday parties, and general hustle and bustle of the season can make the most cheerful people grumpy. But add loss (like the loss a birthmother feels during the holidays) and you add another obstacle to this time of the year.

I don’t think I even realized that not everyone was full of holiday cheer until I became a birthmother. But now, I’m realizing that the holidays can be a hard time of year for many people. Not just the ones who have lost a loved one, but for those who are going through divorce or are facing other obstacles near the holidays.

While birthmothers are always aware of the loss of their children, I think the holidays just magnify it and make the feelings of what we are missing out on more intense. The holidays can be a hard time for birthmothers and bittersweet at times for those of us participating in open adoptions. Our children aren’t with us. We are not the ones putting out there Christmas presents on Christmas Eve or the ones hanging their stockings by the chimney or the ones helping them bake cookies to leave for Santa. We are the ones at home thinking of the things we are missing and the things they are doing with someone else. It’s hard.

In my next few posts, I will share some ways you can get through the holidays.

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Christmas Isn’t Always Easy

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