At our Birthmother’s events, we always have a candlelight ceremony. I originally thought this idea was a little weird. I thought that candlelight ceremonies were typically held as vigils for children or people who were missing or dead and since I knew exactly where my son was the idea of a candle light ceremony to me was a little off.

But after some research and thinking, I came around to the idea. In my research I found that candle light ceremonies originally began to honor men as they came home from the war. Candle light ceremonies have come to represent hope.

Candles are also often used in various church ceremonies and weddings as a symbol of hope and prayer.

Our candle light ceremonies have come to be one of the most touching parts of our events. We always close with the candlelight ceremony. Each year, I have written what is said before we light the candles. I’ve changed it just a bit each year but kept the heart of it the same. I added a new element this year, allowing each birthmother the opportunity to say her child’s name aloud (if she felt comfortable) and to also say a prayer, wish, hope, or dream for her child.

That was the touching part.

J’s prayer was that her daughter knows the love of Jesus Christ.
L’s hope was that her daughter does not grow up to hate her for her decision.
J’s wish was that her daughter always know how loved she is by her birth family.
H’s prayer was that her son find his way to her one day and know how much she loved him.

Then once, all the candles were lit, I read aloud the chorus from the song My Wish as that was the song to the slideshow that we had watched just before the candlelight ceremony started, so I tried to tie them together.

Then I said:

In just a moment, you will blow out your candle. This doesn’t mean you are extinguishing your wishes, hopes, and prayers for your child; they will always be in your heart.

It was beautiful.

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Recap of Birthmother's Day 2007