My co-blogger Coley mentioned in several recent posts the heavy emotions for her behind the word Bittersweet as used to describe the open adoption experience. Bittersweet could also accurately cover the feeling behind some of my own open adoption relationships. The term is certainly filled with meaning.

While considering her posts, I remembered a documentary I purchased several years ago entitled, Bittersweet-Stories Of Open Adoption by independent film maker Steve Garrett. The film is a 53 minute long look into the world of open adoption from both the perspectives of adopting parents as well as several birthmothers. This film is as honest and joyful as it is emotional and painful.

Mr. Garrett begins with an interview of an adoptive mother and also the birthmother who has placed two sons with her. They each speak of the emotions behind their experience with very clear and profound words. They also describe how their open relationship has evolved into something very close and dear to them both. Through their words you can feel the love and respect they hold for each other, despite the painful edge to each of their positions in the triad of adoption.

As the film progresses we also hear from a woman who placed a son for adoption as a young girl in the 1970's and later has gone on to become an adoptive mother herself. The birthmother of her own adopted daughter is also interviewed in the film as well as her now grown son with whom she is successfully reunited. This amazing mom is also an adoption advocate with the same agency she placed her son through.

Film maker Garrett intersperses meetings of waiting families at a local adoption agency, speaking of their feelings during the wait with their ideas about what they once expected and how that has changed. He also ventures to the agency’s annual picnic and talks with families who have adopted. One can clearly hear from them how they have grown and learned through the journeys they each made. If Mr. Garrett’s point is to show us how peoples perceptions are altered as they move along their unique road through adoption, he does it very well.

This sensitive and thought-provoking film goes on to profile two young women as they consider an adoption for the children they are carrying through to the eventual placement decisions they both make. He is present filming at the birth of one woman, and also later as she hands her newborn to the adoptive family. It’s not a film you can easily take your eyes from because as things are being said, he also captures the inner fleeting emotions on the faces of those involved. The experience will not leave you untouched.

If I had to suggest something to prospective adoptive families, something that might open their hearts and educate them about the joys and the complexities of open adoption, this would be my recommendation. Mr. Garrett has done an excellent job of showing us the pain, the joy, the Bittersweet journey that open adoption can be.

Photo Credit: Steve Garrett