Charlie has a pretty healthy understanding of adoption for the young age of six years old. He knows that he was adopted, that he grew in my tummy, and that I couldn’t care for him at the time so I found his Mom and Dad who could. He knows about other members of his biological family like his grandparents and brother and refers to them as such. He’s not embarrassed or ashamed that he is adopted and openly talks about it to anyone who listens.

I’ve written about this every now and then and after reading those posts, someone recently asked me how A and S have explained things to Charlie in order for him to have such a healthy understanding of adoption at his age.

To be perfectly honest, I wasn’t sure. I know that A has mentioned that adoption has never been a secret and that he has always been told that I was his birthmom, but I was curious as to when and how she started telling him that so I called her and asked her.

Even as an infant when he obviously had no understanding of adoption or what a birthmom is, she was telling him that he was adopted. She’d tell him about me and refer to me by name but also say I was his birthmom. She’d tell him how thankful she was that I was a part of their lives and how lucky she felt to be his mother.

As he grew a little bit, she continued to talk to him about me periodically. If they were planning to see me that day, she’d tell him, “We are going to see your birthmother, Coley, today.”

She’d also talk about Noah. If Charlie did something that was similar to something Noah does, she’d tell him “You look just like your brother Noah when you do that.” So it’s never been a question of whether or not Noah is his brother. He’s always been told that and he always knows that.

I really think that discussing it from a young age and making adoption not seem like a secret has helped give Charlie the healthy understanding of adoption that he currently has.

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