I’ve been thinking about my friendship with A. a lot lately. Yes, she is Charlie’s adoptive mother but she is more than that to me, she is my friend too.

I think that there is a common misconception among some people that adoptive mothers and birthmothers can not be friends but hopefully the friendship that A and I share as well as the friendship that Jenna has written about between her and her daughter’s adoptive mother in the birth/first parent blog are proof that it does happen. I also know of a few other birthmothers who have great friendships with their child’s adoptive mothers. Although, I do realize that not every adoptive mother and birthmother can have this kind of relationship and friendship. I needed to write a positive post today so I chose to focus to on our friendship.

I often wonder if I would I be friends with A if it were not for Charlie. Honestly I don’t know! I knew A prior to being pregnant. She was a regular customer in the restaurant where I waitress and they requested my section often but I mean, how well do you really know someone who you make idle chit chat with and bring sodas, chips, and salsa? Becoming pregnant with Charlie and subsequently placing him with A and S opened the door for us to become friends. Perhaps there would have been another door to open had it not been for Charlie, but I honestly don’t know.


A and I have had our ups and downs in our friendship just as any friendship does. Although there are times that one of us may need to step back for a little bit due to the emotions that surround adoption that you may not have with your other friends since adoption is such an emotional issue. But even during those times, I know that it I truly needed something I could still call or write to her and she would be there for me.


A and I nicknamed our selves sisters in spirit. She is a bit older than me and I look up to her. I had a lot of growing up left to do when I became pregnant with Charlie and often sought her advice about things unrelated to adoption and I still do and she seeks my advice for things as well. We laugh and cut up and sometimes we are sad and we cry. I love how A puts it sometimes by saying that “it almost seems like we were sisters separated at birth!”

She has been a great support and help to me in dealing with being the parent of a child in a wheelchair since she herself has been in a wheelchair. She encourages me in just about everything I do. She does all the things any good friend would do, she just happens to also be my child’s adoptive mother.

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Photo Note: My favorite photo of A, Charlie, and I when Charlie was nine months old. Sadly, this is only one of the two photos I have of me and A on my computer at the moment since I had a computer crash not too long ago!

Related Posts:
Why I Love my Son’s Adoptive Mom Part 1 and Part 2
Love Thursday: Friends First