Let’s face it – we live in a society that loves to talk. We love gossip and typical water cooler discussions often consist of talk about Angelina’s adoptions or speculate over who is the father of Anna Nicole’s baby. We all have comments and opinions on the lives of others.

It’s not that much different on a smaller scale. As people begin to learn of your status as a birthmother and your participation in an open adoption, you are going to get comments and opinions. Some of these comments and opinions can be annoying and downright rude.

For the most part, I think people mean well. They just don’t always follow that golden rule of “think before you speak.” A lot of times they are not educated on adoption issues and don’t know what to say or how to respond. Regardless of their intention though, some of these comments can sting, be hurtful, and of course, annoying.

What should you do when faced with these types of comments? Should you say anything at all? Or should you let it slide? Should you take a moment to educate a person and explain why that comment may be inappropriate or do you just ignore it for the time being and vent about it later?

A lot of your response is probably going to depend on the situation such as where you are, whom you are with, and the context in which the comment was made. But I am coming to the realization, that if we don’t take the time to educate people on adoption and birthmother’s feelings, then it is never going to happen. It is up to each of us to put a face to adoption and to get the truth (the good, the bad, and the ugly) out there. Montel isn’t going to do it. Dr Phil’s not helping. Dateline, your local news, the school systems, they don’t enough either, so it’s up to us, the people touched by adoption, who live with it day in and day out to break the barriers and the stereotypes.

In the next post, I will point out some of the annoying comments about birthmothers in general, why they are annoying, and what we can say to the people who make them.

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Resources:
The Things People Say