Open adoption is a fairly new concept for many people. It really has just become popular and more practiced in the past five to ten years. In this post, we will examine some of the annoying comments that people make when they find out you are participating in an open adoption.


1. “How nice of them to let you see him/her.”

This comment is usually said in response to me explaining that I have an open adoption with visitations and that I get to see my son.

Why this statement can be annoying to a birthmother:
It’s a tad condescending and makes it sound like the adoptive parents are doing the birthmother a favor by allowing visits.

Why people say this:
Because they don’t know what else to say usually!! They are blown away by the concept of open adoption.

What you can say in response:
Well if you feel like being a smart aleck, you could say something along the lines of “How nice of me to let them adopt him.” But if you are truly trying to educate, you could explain that open adoption is in the best interests of the child and that it is beneficial for your child to have visits with you.

2. “Aren’t you afraid that she will come and steal your child away?”This statement is usually said to adoptive parents when they tell someone that they have an open adoption with their child’s birthmother. I know A. has heard this comment a few times.

Why it’s annoying:
Because it is an uneducated, extremist, Lifetime movie of the week type of statement!

What you can say in response:
Explain and educate them a little bit about open adoption and let them know how rarely this (a birthmom kidnapping her child) actually happens. But again, if you want to be a smart aleck, you could use the line A says occasionally when people say this to her. When she is in a mood, she will respond with “Well, I know where she lives so I can just go and kidnap him back!”

Related Posts:
Annoying Comments about Birthmothers in General
Annoying Comments