Yesterday I could not post, I had my own little version of ER going on here..

My son decided to tumble down our basement stairs and booger his head up rather nicely. There was a huge amount of blood all over, and the little guy earned himself five stitches (at least they did not have to shave off any of his beautiful curls.)

Does anyone else out there believe 25 minutes waiting for an ambulance to arrive, to assist a toddler with a profusely bleeding head injury, is just way too long? I certainly did! After this calm mom (on the phone, while simultaneously applying pressure to a spouting head wound on a screaming child) gives very exact, concise directions to our home, and yet they still go the long route? I am talking, through two other towns, opposite direction, 20 minutes out of the way.

Seriously, the Larry, Curly and Moe could have been here sooner.

Thank goodness for one young EMT, off duty, who had heard the call and did arrive in 3 minutes, and shirtless no less (hey, he had been doing some yard work, but it provided an interesting distraction for me for a second!) Carson was checked out, found only to have a laceration, cross-stitched up, and soon he was back to his normal self.

As soon as everyone was home, settled down, and asleep, this mom was up well into the night wondering, thinking, and feeling more than a bit guilty. I admit that every time anything bad goes on around here, with one of the kids, I find myself thinking about how their birthparents would react.

I worry about my kids first and foremost, but then I always find myself thinking that perhaps their birthmoms would be shocked, overly upset, or even judge me harshly for whatever happened. Sometimes I think that they might not care for how well (or not so well) I may have handled a crisis. I have always believed that they regret not being able to be a bigger part of the fun stuff like school parties, fun outings, the normal moments that most families find enjoyable, but do they feel the same about the missed disasters?

There are a few of the questions, that I do not always feel confident enough to ask. What if I don’t like what I hear? What if they would have done it differently, or better, or what if they hate me because I did not understand how they feel (about the disasters or just adoption in general?) It might sound like I am second guessing myself, but really what mother of a child who has another mom out there in the world would not wonder?

I suppose just as I handle the crisis that might occur with my child, I can also adapt to handle any feelings of anger or upset with me from their birthparents. This is something they do not teach you about, or tell you about, before you enter into an open adoption. When a child has more than one set of parents, there will be more than one set of feelings about all the events in that child’s life, the “fun stuff” and the not so fun stuff. Being forgiving, understanding, and empathetic sure would make both our roles as adoptive and birth parents easier. When the emergencies arise, I do the best I know to do, and thankfully it always has worked out ok.

Having the EMT arrive shirtless doesn’t hurt either, I highly recommend it.


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