I recently had the opportunity to interview Patricia Dischler. Patricia is a birthmother and has written a book about her experience titled Because I Loved You.


Patricia placed her son for adoption at age 21. However, her first instinct was to parent but during her pregnancy the birth father left town and Patricia had run into some problems with her business partner (she co-owned a printing company) and eventually decided that adoption would be the best option for her baby.

All this put together lead me to see that my life did not support raising a child at that time in a way that I felt my child deserved, so I chose adoption. I do have to note though, that I would not have chosen adoption if I could not have had it open, saying goodbye to my child without the hope of every knowing he was happy and loved in his new family was too difficult to consider. When the counselor told me I could stay in contact with the adoptive family that was when I made my decision.

In the beginning, Patricia’s adoption was semi-open. She exchanged letters and pictures with her son’s adoptive parents every year on his birthday. By the time he was twelve, he was ready to meet her. By then, she and his parents had built a relationship of respect and trust through their long letters and agreed.

Since that meeting, we have all wished we had done it sooner! We simply fit together as a family and have been seeing each other often since then.

For Patricia, open adoption helped her see that she made the right choice for her son.

It allowed me to see that I had made the right choice; my son had a wonderful, loving family that cared deeply for him and took care of all his needs. The more letters and pictures I received where I saw this, the easier it was to put my grief behind me. And of course, having the opportunity to see him again and build a relationship with him was amazing and something I am very thankful for.

In the next post, I’ll continue the interview with Patricia and she will share some advice for expectant mothers considering adoption, birth parents, and adoptive parents involved in open adoptions.

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Photo Credit: Patricia Dischler