Do you allow yourself to express and experience the emotions you are feeling as a birthmother or do you try and hold them all inside?

There have been times in my life since becoming a birthmother when things are very overwhelming emotionally and sometimes instead of allowing myself to experience what I was feeling, I’d push it away. I would tell myself to be strong, thinking that crying and the other emotions I would be feeling pertaining to adoption were signs of weakness or perhaps even signs that I made the wrong decision. So, I’d hold all those emotions in and create a very unhealthy and destructive pattern. Then something would happen, and it could be tiniest little thing, and I would loose it, all those emotions would start rushing forward and flowing out of me like water from a dam.

Those breakdowns would end up being much worse than they would have been if I had dealt with the emotions as they came up initially. I have learned a lot about myself, my feelings, and how I process things since becoming a birthmother. I am learning that it is ok to experience the emotions and to release those emotions should it be crying, screaming, or laughing, depending on what I am feeling. Experiencing and releasing emotions is actually healthy!

So, my advice to fellow birthmothers out there is to let yourself feel! Heck, we are women, aren’t we supposed to be emotional?

If you should become overwhelmed with your feelings, here are a few suggestions on how to deal with them.
1. Journal. I know I say this a lot but it really is a great release for many people.
2. Cry, yell, laugh – whatever release is appropriate at the moment.
3. Talk with a counselor or therapist if you have one.
4. Talk with a trusted friend or family member.

Emotions are healthy!

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