If anyone ever asks me about the type of work that I do blogging here, I usually describe it as having to do with adoption, and educational in nature. Of course I am hoping to educate others, but I am also involved in my own seemingly endless learning process at the same time. With that in mind you would think that things in my own household are fairly well understood concerning adoption issues right? Well apparently, as I found out today, you would be VERY wrong!

This morning I almost choked on my breakfast, when I over heard a conversation my five year old was having with her older sister while playing dolls. The part that smacked me upside the head (and made me swallow my pancake whole) is as follows...

(Five year old) “This is not my favorite baby here! What am I going to do about her?”

(Ten year old) “Well...um...I think you are not supposed to have favorites, but if your not going to keep her what are you doing?

(Five year old) “I am pretty sure I do not want this one, so I am going to sell her to you for adoption. If you want this baby, cause I don’t, she is not my favorite, I will sell her to you for adoption.”

(Ten year old) “Um...MOOOOM! Mom I think you need to talk to Cierra. (Then to her sister) I am done playing here, sorry.

OK. Once I was sure I could breathe again, OF COURSE I sat down with my darling daughter and talked to her (come on now!) And in case anyone is honestly wondering, NO, no way did she get any of these ideas from me! Perhaps she is surfing the anti-adoption networks online while I sleep at night, geez who knows. I am just as mystified about how she arrived at these conclusions about adoption as you may well be.

When we both sat down I explained to her (as I have many times before) that babies are not placed for adoption by their first parents because they are not the “favorite” one, or the most beautiful, or for doing anything bad themselves to make it happen. I also let her know that most birthparents (her own included) work very hard to ensure that the baby they placed for adoption will be cared for, loved, and get all the things that they wished they could do for the baby themselves.

I explained that children are placed for adoption when a parent who loves them very much is unable for a variety of reasons to take care of that baby in the way that the baby needs. I also let her know that some children are placed for adoption from foster care situations, because their first family could not care for them properly, and that might cause the child to be harmed or injured in some way.

Of course then I went on to the idea of “selling” a baby. I let my daughter know that while there are certain fees that need to be paid, to insure that a expectant mother receives help and services, and that the adopting family are throughly prepared and investigated, and the courts can be reimbursed for their part in supervising the process of adoption, babies are NOT bought or sold. And before anyone thinks to jump in here at this point, I did explain that some people in the world, who do not have the best interests of children at heart, do try to buy and sell human beings, and that this is very wrong, and very unethical.

Sadly that was the best I was able to do at this time, as the pancake I swallowed whole earlier had gone down sideways and needed a coffee (with strong liquor added) chaser. So much for assuming that people, even under my own roof, are really hearing what I have to say about adoption huh?

Photo- A photo that captures the essence of what Cierra (Five year old) and her baby doll must have been thinking about today's post breakfast playtime!

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