This weekend was another busy one for me. My son’s 4th birthday party was Saturday, and my new sister-in-law had a baby shower on Sunday, both of which I made the decorated cakes for (as well as one diaper cake). Not even a second for me to catch my breath, let alone make a post here!

Sunday I decided to make a ‘girls only’ event. I took along my oldest daughter Danika to the baby shower for her new Aunt and soon to be baby cousin. It was a wonderful time, my mother-in-law did a great job of hosting, and I found that I really like my new sister-in-law a lot. Danika and her younger cousin Alli enjoyed handing the gifts to the mom to be to open, and cleaning up the wrapping paper, as well as helping with the traditional baby shower type of games that were planned. The girls also raked in more than their fair share of the game prizes, and were generally spoiled by their grandmas during the event. I wonder if the new baby knows how good she is going to have it?

The next day at home I found this was the prefect opportunity to talk with my oldest girl, about the shower we attended, and the baby showers that were held to welcome her not so very long ago. I had shared with her before, pictures and stories about the baby showers that friends and co-workers had given me when she was a newborn, but I had never really highlighted the first baby shower that had been held for her, the only one before she was born.

I wasn’t at that first baby shower, I did not even know about her yet. The friends and co-workers of her first mom L had hosted the event for her. I know L attended, and she opened all the gifts. I can only imagine what she must have been thinking and feeling as she knew she was already heavily considering an adoption plan for her baby.

Later, once L had delivered, met my husband and I, and placed her tiny treasure into our care, that shower must have seemed like a bittersweet reminder to her of what she would not be experiencing. About a week after placement she sent her mother to our home with all the boxes and bags of gifts from that first shower. She wanted the baby, and our family to have the gifts and know that they were given with love. Although L later chose to close contact with us, this is one of the many gestures she shared that I was now going to use to tell my daughter about her birthmother.

I told my daughter what I knew of the first baby shower held to welcome her. If showers are a way to share the joy about the pending birth of a baby, then her first shower was certainly about her birthmom’s joy in her being. L opened presents, a diaper wreath, stuffed animals, tiny clothing, bottles, she probably had cake and punch. She must have laughed and enjoyed her time with her friends, and thinking about the baby. I wanted to point out to my daughter, on the heels of a wonderfully special baby shower we had just enjoyed, that her birthmom had done the same for her. She had celebrated her pending arrival. Just because L later decided on an adoption plan did not mean that she did not love and prepare for this child in the way most every mother does.

I saved a few things from that first baby shower for Danika. A few tiny articles of clothing, and a cute bunny who says “somebunny loves you” and wiggles his ears. Along with all the gifts L had received at that shower, I was glad that I had the story that it had happened to share with our little girl. Danika could see the love and excitement over a little person we all have yet to meet at this Sunday’s gathering, and she understands that both her moms shared the same sort of anticipation and excitement over her own entry into the world.

A Tweenager, But Still Needing Attention

Adoption Confusion And Proposed Baby Selling, Hits Way Too Close To Home!

Taking Time To Hear Our Kids


Photo- Diaper cake I made © 2008 Deb Donatti