Yesterday was such a blur of pumpkins and hay bales that I must apologize for not having posted anything at all. A cold, blustery, busy day here, and the wind blew the blogs right out of me.

I was out all day, in 48 degree weather, in just about every pumpkin patch in the tri-county area. First from eight a.m. till eleven, we had one pumpkin patch with the three year old preschool kidlets, followed by noon till three with the kindergarten crowd at a haunted-house pumpkin farm. Two hayrides and punkin pluckings in one day seriously had me bone tired. Apparently I am not as young as I used to be!

I was lucky that my mother and father in-law were able to come to both farms with myself and their grandchildren. We do not get to spend nearly enough time with them, so this was a bonus. One of the many things we talked about, was the exciting news that a new little “pumpkin” or grand-baby is on the way for them at the start of next year (and NO it’s not with me.)

Although all of us had believed the existing group, Carson being the youngest of them, was the last of the arrivals for this generation of moms and dads, a surprise apparently “cropped up.” My mother-in-law’s son from her previous marriage, who had left his own 17 year marriage (no children) last year, is excited to find he and his new fiancé are going to be parents. While my mother-in-law and I excitedly chatted about the details of expecting a new baby, when we believed that door was long ago closed, I do admit I had a few worries and concerns left in the back of my mind.

This new baby will be the first on my mother-in-law’s side. All her other grandchildren are those of her husband’s son and daughter’s from his previous marriage, my three included. This new grandchild will be the first on her side, and her only biological one. Although I know very well that she has always been a wonderful, and caring grandmother to my children, I admit some fears that somehow this new baby will displace that affection have crossed my mind. After hearing one of my sister-in-laws shared my worry, I felt less crazy, but still as concerned.

My fears may be groundless, I know they love my kids, but these fears are not with out basis in some past experience. Unfortunately my in-laws took some time to understand about adoption, and to set aside some of their fears about how they would love these children. It has taken time to make the connection. Though I am excited about the new baby, I also worry that somehow my own children will lose the hard won affection of their grandparents in favor of the new addition.

This kind of shift and change can bring good things (hello... a baby!), but as I know all too well, unfortunate complications in existing relationships can appear too. I know when my daughter’s birthfamily welcomed her new half-brother a year ago, I clearly saw the focus shirt dramatically from her to him, and it caused me a great deal of emotional upset. Suddenly a birthfamily who had showered a ton of attention and affection on my daughter, withdrew and turned all their energy to the new little boy. I care about my daughter’s little brother too, a great deal, but it saddened me so much to see her suddenly, seemingly left in the dust of his arrival.

Of the many things we talked about, sonograms, a very excited and involved first time daddy, little pink outfits, shopping for supplies, and baby showers, this one topic was not approached by me. I felt the little grey cloud hanging just over my shoulder, but no way did I want to deluge her parade. My focus today was on enjoying her excitement about the new baby, all while she spent memory making time with my own little punkins.

So I am hoping the conversation never has to happen at all. I know this dear lady has a huge heart, and I am also excited about the new baby. Stretching to accommodate change is certainly not pain free, so I am glad that we had not one but TWO pumpkin patches to work on the concept of the coming expansion.

Family And Toastin Mushmallows

Change Is Scary

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