I love those moments as a Mother that I learn something from my child. It has happened countless times in the almost eleven years that I have been mothering Noah. He has taught me many lessons over the years and it has recently happened with Charlie. I’m very glad that I am writing this lesson down that Charlie taught me as it is one I have trouble with occasionally and I will be able to read back over when I need to remember.

Charlie is so open about being adopted. He doesn’t care who knows that he has two mothers and he will tell just about anyone that listens. When I was with him and his class recently, he introduced me multiple times as his “burp mom.” (That’s how it comes out when he says birthmom.) He’s very loud and likes to be the leader and at one point, he loudly announced to about fifteen children and their chaperones, “Hey everyone! This is my Burp Mom!” I couldn’t help but chuckle when one little girl said, “Um, Charlie, what’s a burp mom?” With no hesitation, he pointed to me and said, “Her, Coley. She’s my burp mom!”

I have no problem being open with my status a birthmother in the adoption community, both the virtual community as well as the “in real life” adoption community. However, I do have trouble being quite so open with people who do not have a direct connection to adoption. The truth is in the adoption community, I feel safe. Even though there are probably some in the adoption community, who do not agree with my decision or the things I believe or maybe they don’t agree with open adoption, I still feel safe and respected. When it comes to sharing the fact that I am a birthmother in an open adoption with people who do not have a direct connection to adoption, I feel more hesitant as I usually feel very judged by them.

Charlie could be the same way and feel shy about the fact that he is adopted, but he’s not. In fact, I think he is almost proud of it. At this point, it’s something that he sees that sets him out from the other children, makes him unique, and special. Will he always see it that way? Maybe not, but his Mothers (both of them) can hope so!

And for now, I’ll take this lesson learned from Charlie and I will try to be more open.

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Related Posts:
Being Charlie's Burpmom
Defining Open Adoption
My Thoughts on Motherhood