After watching a town hall episode of Oprah today, aired in response to the recent events surrounding Don Imus and his derogatory remarks about the female Rutgers basketball team, I wanted to address this issue of race and our culture. I am mother of a black son, this issue is one that holds an immense amount of importance for me. I am also a white, adoptive mother who is only just beginning to see the multi-layered issues involving race that still so deeply divides not only white and black Americans but also the entire black community itself.

The panels on Oprah today talked a lot about the way both racism in white society ,like Mr. Imus exhibited, as well as black rap artists through their negative lyrics and videos, bear responsibility in the way black women and perhaps the black community in general are treated in our society. Mr. Imus tried to lessen the impact of his own words by stating how this type of language is all too frequently used among the black community themselves to address one another. There are blacks in the media who would agree this happens. Black men often call one another “nigga”or black women “ho” and this is somehow disturbingly seen as acceptable on some level in black culture. I believe that although this also occurs, it does not however dismiss what Mr. Imus has done by making his own insensitive, racially charged remarks about the Rutgers women.

Dr. Benjamin Chavis, former CEO of the NAACP placed the situation very well with his comment to Oprah,

“Hip-hop artists are not responsible for what Don Imus did. Don Imus was a racist. Don Imus was a sexist, and there's no way that Don Imus can blame hip-hop for what he did," Dr. Chavis says. "That is not to excuse hip-hop. Hip hop is not perfect. We've got to make it better. But we make hip-hop better by making society better, because hip-hop reflects the contradictions of society. There's too much poverty, there's too much injustice, and there's too much bad treatment of women in our society."

My own thought about this was “wow, what am I up against?” Here I am as a white mother, still learning the complexities of racial injustice as black America has experienced it for well over one hundred years, and now I am also beginning to see how divided the black community is as a whole as well. I have my budding theory about the paradox of it all, but any good solutions are harder to come by. I wonder at our society that places value on money, sex, and dominance of women, but I also see how black men in search self esteem and respect in this same society (that basically devalues them for no reason other than skin tone) would grab at any and all methods to achieve “value” for themselves. So if money, sex, and dominance of women is what our society values, then can it be hard to see how a black hip hop culture mirrors these things to it’s followers? The worst part is I think they are giving up true self respect in turn for this they view as power and prominence, but what really only serves to further put down and oppress the black community.

I do not want to teach my son this philosophy I am finding our about. I want him to be proud of himself, his race and culture and proud enough he will not feel the need to demoralize others of his own black community to find his self esteem. I want him to be able to value himself, to lift up women of all races in a positive light, and to see the positive value among his fellow black brothers. This seems to this white mom an unbelievable task to set out to do, a very tall order. I am certain other white adoptive parents of black children are confronting their own dawning understanding of this deep, vast moral wound that racism has inflicted upon our world, and I am sure they must feel as helpless as I do about it most days.

The biggest thing I can see doing as a parent is to speak out against degrading racial bias on ALL levels, and from all persons. It does not matter if Don Imus or Snoop Dog used the term “nappy headed ho” it’s wrong. It is up to me as an adoptive mother of a black son to explain to him why this is unacceptable from white or black Americans to treat anyone this way. To do that I have to see it, address it, and find the ability to show my son another way. I can only hope to be up to this challenge, which is one I am ill prepared for.

This divided culture within black America is gradually beginning to be chipped away at, but racism is as potent as it ever was. I feel a bit encouraged to see the outrage over behavior such as that of Don Imus, but I will feel that much more encouraged when I see all people who perpetuate this climate of hate to be made responsible.

Resources

Race In America

Raising Black Sons