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I just got off the phone with adoptive mom Cynthia Stocklaufer who had called me with a special request for the larger adoption community. At this time the family is asking for anyone, and everyone who cares about their plight, and supports the rights of families not to be discriminated against because of weight, or race, or other unfair judgement, to please wear a baby blue ribbon to show their support. Tomorrow will be an especially important day to begin this campaign, as adoptive dad Gary will be undergoing gastric bypass surgery, in order to quickly lose much of the weight that the Jackson county, Missouri court takes issue with. This dad is risking his life in order to have his son come home, what more could be asked of any good parent?
In case you have missed some of my previous blogs, the Stocklaufer’s are the Missouri family who had their adoptive son Max removed because the court declared dad Gary to obese to adopt. This family is not only baby Max’s hopeful adoptive family, and the family he has lived with all his tiny life, but they also have a biological connection. Max is the biological son of Gary’s cousin.
I have had the pleasure of talking with Cynthia several times now, as have some of our other bloggers, and I can hear in her voice the warmth and love she has for her son Max and her whole family. This family’s story has taken on such a personal nature for me, because I have been in that same court, with some of the same persons involved, wondering if I would be coming home with my own son. The courts gave us undue pressure because my son is black and we are white, but it could just have easily been my own large size that they focused on.
As one mother to another I wanted to assure Cynthia that people do care, people understand this is situation is unjust, and people stand behind her family in support. The one other thing I wish I could assure Cynthia of, is that her son will be home soon, but I cannot. Thankfully that assurance rests with a much higher power, and I don’t mean the Jackson county court.
Missouri Man Deemed Too Obese To Adopt – *Update
The Birthmom in the Gary Stocklaufer Case
What Kind Of Family Would DO That?
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I’ll be praying for Gary’s surgery!!
Has it been said that if he loses the weight they will definately get Max back home?
What a great idea! I hope Missouri is awash in baby blue ribbons!
My best wishes go to Gary with hopes that his ordeal has no negative impact.
Thanks Guys!
Don’t forget your blue ribbons, you don’t have to be in Missouri to wear your support on your heart.
I shared the story with another forum I am on.
This is just ridiculous. They should not have taken their son away because he has a weight problem. Maybe told him he has to lose weight or they will, but to take their son because of this it is ridiculous and I am outraged about it. I wish I could do something to help. I will be praying about this for sure.
I linked my blog to this post. It is just so ridiculous.
What a delicate situation. Where is the line? And who is allowed to draw it? It seems particularly harsh that this little boy is being denied a loving family, and that the legal system had chosen to draw the line at the weight of this particular adoptive father.
I find it particularly moronic for the fact that there are upwards of 500.000 children in foster-care at any given moment in this country, for the fact that this boy has a family who wants to make him their own, and for the fact that contrary to so many birth parents,this birthmother actually had a plan for her child and did not wait for the state of Missouri and its undoubtelby over-worked Social workers to add him to their never ending list– sparing the child al sorts of misery.
Well, common sense is a dying affliction these days. Sad story , I hope the dad looses the weight and will be deemed healthy enough to raise this boy.