The news out of Kansas City today is that little baby Max has been returned to the home of Gary & Cynthia Stocklaufer. The hearing today at 9:30 am before Judge John R. O’Malley appears to have straightened out the issues of immediate custody, and has moved forward the petition for the legal adoption of baby Max by the Stocklaufers. The baby was returned to the family right after the court hearing today. I am sure the joy that Gary, Cynthia & big brother Bobby must be feeling is beyond words this... more

It seems I still read so much that expects us to believe that the truth of adoption is all black and white, and not ever in shades of grey. While I know that there are many rights and wrongs concerning adoption, ‘black and whites’ if you will, I also have come to understand that the color grey is not as uncommon as many want to believe.

Every adoption is unique. For me some of the shades of grey lie in the individual situation, the details that can only apply to that one specific child or family. When some people want us to believe that adoption is always a bad thing... more

I received an interesting email last week, just about the time the news hit the press concerning the transfer of baby Max back to the Stocklaufer family. The return of the baby was supposed to occur December 31st, ordered by Judge John R. O’Malley. This was a reversal of a previous decision by commissioner Allen in the family court. Unfortunately the transfer didn’t happen at all.

The email I received was from someone claiming to be a friend of Tandy and Scott Kraus, of Grain Valley, Missouri. This friend wanted me to understand the position of the Kraus family, and... more

Last evening I was happy to get a return phone call from my son’s birthmom. We have all been anxiously watching the news here, and wondering about her extended family, who are in Nairobi, Kenya amidst all the current political turmoil there. Right now this is a very unsafe place to be, and the full accounts of what horror is going there on have not even made it into main stream media yet.

During Kenya’s recent December elections, a dispute occurred about who the actual winner turned out to be, and some fairly intense ethnic clashes have been going on.... more

In my last post, I wrote about when as a birthparent there are times that you just have to pick up that phone, call up your child’s adoptive parent, and share news that probably isn’t the best. In that post, I was discussing sharing news when there is a medical issue but there are times you may have to share other news that isn’t so great like a death in the family. I get flustered, nervous, and never know exactly what to say or how to do it when I have bad news to share, so I came up with a few tips... more

In a recent post, my co-blogger Deb, wrote about receiving news that a child’s biological cousin could possibly have a genetic condition and her child could be at risk for the same condition struck a chord with me. In her post, one of the points she makes that one of the benefits of open adoption is that you have first hand access to medical information and I couldn’t agree with her more.

As a birthmother actively participating in an open adoption, I feel that one of my obligations to Charlie is... more

Getting scary health related news is never a good feeling, and it is even worse when it concerns your child.

Back in December our family received some news from one of the children’s birthfamilies. It seems that our child’s first cousin had tested positive in preliminary screening for a chronic, fatal, genetic disorder. At the time our child was born, we all believed this was a healthy newborn. The birthfamily in question believed them same of their own child, who is now almost 5 years old. It is so hard to consider that one, or both, of us might have been wrong.

Once... more

Many people view the New Year as a clean slate, an opportunity to put the past behind them and start a new. It sounds good to me! I like the idea that today is day one in the unwritten chapter of 2008 of my life.

Talking about it in that perspective, that it is day one in the unwritten chapter of 2008 reminds me of one of my favorite songs, Unwritten by Natasha Bedingfield. The lyrics in the song talk about starting over and how the future is unwritten.

Staring... more

December was a very busy and emotional month for me! I didn’t get to write as much as I wanted to between some tiny network issues when they debuted the blog makeover, the holidays, being sick, and Noah being on Christmas vacation just to name a few.

Although I didn’t get to write as much as usual, I did manage to squeeze in some holiday related posts. I discussed gift giving between birthmoms and their children as well as buying... more

This past year has been a really terrific experience for me. The opportunity to blog here has been a good one over all, with quite a bit shared about myself, as well as learned from others.

As I was looking back over my post for 2007, I began thinking about those that I am especially proud of, and those that I feel I was successful in capturing what I wanted to say. There are quite a few, and I wanted to take the opportunity to link back to them here, just in case you might have missed some of them.

Of course my kids are very important to me, and I blog about them... more