My son’s birthday was last week and I was a bit disappointed that neither of his birth parents could make it for the party this year. His birthmom P did call though, and we had a short conversation about how everyone is doing. Each of us wished that being together for our son on his big day had been an option. I can only imagine how much more frustrating it will become, if and when she decides to return to her home country, and our contact becomes more difficult to maintain.

I am not quite sure how others in open adoptions keep the relationships solid when the families... more

It can be upsetting to me as a birthmother when a visit gets cancelled whether it is me doing the cancelling or Charlie’s Mom; but it does happen from time to time for a myriad of different reasons such as someone got sick, there was an emergency, something else came up that could not be done at a later time, something happened at work, you’re struggling emotionally at that time and can’t handle a visit; just to name a few.

In the six years that Charlie has been born and we’ve had an open adoption arrangement, we’ve only had to cancel visits a few times and I... more

This weekend was another busy one for me. My son’s 4th birthday party was Saturday, and my new sister-in-law had a baby shower on Sunday, both of which I made the decorated cakes for (as well as one diaper cake). Not even a second for me to catch my breath, let alone make a post here!

Sunday I decided to make a ‘girls only’ event. I took along my oldest daughter Danika to the baby shower for her new Aunt and soon to be baby cousin. It was a wonderful time, my mother-in-law did a great job of hosting, and I found that I really like my new sister-in-law... more

Today is Blue Monday, which is said to be the most depressing day of the most depressing week of the entire year. Blue Monday occurs on the Monday of the last full week of January. Depression is thought to be at its peak for many people during this time of year and sadly, the most suicides of the year occur on Blue Monday.

So, why is today thought to be the most depressing day of the whole year? According to a British researcher, it is a combination of post holiday blues, Seasonal... more

You may recall back in December when I wrote of a placed nephew who I was unexpectedly reunited with for a brief 5 hour visit. Taken from his divorcing parents (my brother & his ex) he was placed for adoption at age 7, then returned to the foster system where he aged out this last fall. It was a sad thing for me to learn after so many years of wondering about him. Our short visit was enough though for me to begin to see warning signs, and predict some of what we might unfortunately... more

A story of adopted twins separated at birth out of the UK adds another reason to my list of why open adoptions are a good thing and why adoptees should have easier access to their adoption records that contain their biological information. Although, this particular instance occurred in the UK, it is still something that could easily occur in the United States.

Two twins were separated and then immediately adopted at birth by different families never knowing that they were in fact a twin. They go on to meet each other as... more

The weather forecasters were predicting snow here in my part of the south but I wasn’t holding my breath as snow has been predicted many times and never come. We haven’t had snow in about two years. But low and behold, it snowed!

Needless to say, Noah was very excited when he woke up and saw all the “white stuff.” School was cancelled of course and the whole town pretty much came to a stand still because people in the south just don’t know how to cope with snow! There wasn’t really enough to do much with and by the time the sun came out today it was getting a little... more

Various team sports have always been a part of my life. Growing up, I went to many Mississippi State University football games, so many that Starkville felt like a second home to me at times. My brother and I both played baseball/softball. I’ve always enjoyed watching baseball too. Heck, I love baseball so much I got married on a baseball field!

Needless to say, when I was making my adoption plan I wanted a family that would introduce Charlie to different sports and then let him try whatever he was interested in. I knew that S and A would do this because they loved... more

At times, I think the grief with open adoption can be a misunderstood grief. There are even times that I misunderstand it myself. It is definitely a unique type of grief.

As a birthmother participating in an open adoption, I’m very happy to be able to see Charlie and be a part of his life. I’m grateful that S and A are so willing to include me and make me such a big part of their family and Charlie’s life as I know that sadly, that is not the case for every birthmother and every adopted child may not be able to have that type of involvement. I enjoy my visits with Charlie... more

“Time by minutes slips away, First the hour, then the day, Small the daily loss appears, Yet soon it amounts to years”

- Ronald Tierney

It is hard for me to believe that another year has passed, and my youngest will be 4 years old on Thursday! The time since first holding him at 3 days old has flown by, and the tiny baby has changed and developed into quite a terrific little boy. I know that we are all looking forward to celebrating his birthday this weekend with family and friends, but a small part of me acknowledges... more