The pastors at my church like to do different learning series. We did the famous Rick Warren series right when it began to hit it big. We’ve done a series about ministering to others as well as different series on things involved with being a Christian, books of the Bible, seasonal things, etc… I usually enjoy them and learn a lot.

The current five week series we have embarked on really has me thinking, not about what we are learning per say but about people in the church. The current series is entitled “PG: Parental Guidance Required.” While the series is kind of based on... more

The last few days here have been about me getting ready for a visit with my son’s birthfamily. I have been cleaning, and cooking, and gathering a few gifts for the big day. I am especially excited about this visit, because it has been longer than normal since our last, and because there are a few “new” members for us to meet.

This will be the first time for my son to visit with his new baby brother M. The baby is just few months old, and Carson is very excited about seeing him for the first time. Part of me is sad that we do not live close enough for me to have taken my son... more

Lately there have been several conversations online talking about some morbid stuff. The question of what happens to the children of open adoption, if something happens to adoptive parents, as in, gulp... death. It is an important question to be sure. Some of those concerned were also birthparents, worried about how their connections with their child would be preserved in the event of the adoptive parents passing, also a valid concern.

Of course this is something that my husband and I have also talked about, although not enough. Unfortunately we have yet to put any... more

In my last post I wrote about how I have been really struggling with my depression lately but how in the past week to week and half my mood and demeanor seems to be lighter and happier and I am partially attributing this change to the daily time I have carved into my busy schedule for crafting.

While writing that post, I began to wonder myself, why I find crafting so therapeutic. I think it’s rewarding to me personally for a few reasons. One, you are creating something and you get to see instant results.... more

I must admit that I have been personally struggling with depression but the past week and a half has been much better than the past two weeks have been. I think that the depression results around my adoption issues that play right into the secondary infertility issues that my husband and I are facing coupled with seasonal changes that I deal with on a yearly basis at this time of the year.

I have been trying to avoid medications. Not that I view antidepressant medications as a weakness, but since we are technically still trying to conceive, I would prefer to be on as few of medications... more

Well fall here has finally decided to step into the place the summer has been most reluctant to vacate in a timely manner. The temperatures have dropped, and dropped fast, going from almost ninety degrees on Monday to a brisk sixty-three today. While I am not one to complain about the cooler days, I will say I would have liked a more gradual let down, so to speak.

Along with missing that slow, colorful simmer down from our hot summer into the current crisp early October, I am feeling low about missing something special that fall usually brings out for myself and my... more

You probably can’t read the words in that letter, but that is what I call my “love letter” to Charlie that I wrote when he was only a few days old, now hanging framed in his room.

Before Charlie was born, A (Charlie’s adoptive Mom) suggested that I write a letter to Charlie explaining why I had chosen adoption for him. It sounded like a daunting task but one that I knew I must and needed to do. Just two or three days after I had come home from the hospital, I sat down to write the letter. It was not easy, but I tried to just let the words come from the heart and flow instead... more

Many birthmothers, even those in open adoptions, write letters to their placed child. Some birthmothers find it healing and therapeutic. There’s really no right or wrong way to writing a letter to your child! Some birthmothers may write at the same time each month, such as the date their child was born while others may write only when and if they feel the need. Some may write on special occasions, such as birthdays and holidays. Some birthmothers may send the letter to their child right... more

In my last post I discussed how to respond to a comment regarding your status as a birthmother if the comment is negative. In this post, we will discuss positive comments and how to establish and set boundaries in conversations.

If their comment is of the positive nature, then it is much easier and more fun to respond! When they are responding positively, I find myself much more likely to open up and share parts of my adoption story with them. I am even willing to pull out photos and show them... more

Sometimes once you divulge to someone that you are a birthmother, they respond negatively or perhaps their attitude and demeanor just seems to change. Either way, you are probably feeling judged and guarded at this point in the conversation.

So, how should one respond as birthmother dealing with the negative comments of strangers or acquaintances? If you feel like it, then educate them about adoption. Maybe they are unaware that there really isn’t a stereotypical birthmother nowadays, maybe they are unaware that birthmothers really do love their children, or maybe... more