The month of October was an interesting one here full of highs and lows both emotionally and apparently blog wise. Things started off strong, but as our family reached some new levels of trust in our open adoption relationships here (like one child’s first overnight visit with birthfamily!), not hearing any responses on the blog, has made me wonder if my readers have taken their leave of me. I sure hope not!

Before I review what else I have blogged about during the month, I want to take the time to remind readers if there is something specifically that you would... more

It finally feels like fall here at last in my neck of the woods! I can break out my boots finally! I took a break this month and headed out of town where I re-charged my batteries in the Great Smokey Mountains. It was a nice break, but unfortunately I caught walking pneumonia and brought it home with me.

Although I took a little break, it was still a busy month here in the blogs. I started the month of October out with a post about a lesson I have learned from my son! Charlie has taught... more

Adoption already sets a family apart from other, more traditional families, but having an open adoption with a higher level of contact, tends to separate those families even further. At the same time a family in an open adoption might feel alone in their experiences, they also tend to be sort of a fascination to others. We often get the interesting comments, the shocked responses about our degree of openness, and sometimes the avoidance of other adoptive families, because you know what we “have” just might be catching. The feeling I would compare open adoption to is that of being... more

Probably the single most important thing to have in an open adoption is trust. Trust is not something that happens easily, or occurs overnight, it takes time and a lot of work from everyone involved. Trust is also a two way street, if one person does not follow through then building the trust in the relationship is impossible.

You might be wondering why the topic of trust is on my mind this evening, and I will share that it is because with my middle daughter we have reached a turning point in out trust building with her birthfamily. Tonight I sort of did something that... more

While there are often comments that people say directly to us knowing that we are birthmothers, many times there are comments or situations that may hurt us as birthmothers that people are not intentionally directing towards us or even meanto be hurtful. No one tells you before you become a birthmother about the normal everyday conversations that may become difficult at times.

For example, J, a friend who is a birthmother was recently discussing a comment that someone made that that cut her to the core. The comment was not directed towards her and the person wasn’t intentionally being mean. She was just venting to some other ladies at church about some of the things that new mothers... more

Yesterday was such a blur of pumpkins and hay bales that I must apologize for not having posted anything at all. A cold, blustery, busy day here, and the wind blew the blogs right out of me.

I was out all day, in 48 degree weather, in just about every pumpkin patch in the tri-county area. First from eight a.m. till eleven, we had one pumpkin patch with the three year old preschool kidlets, followed by noon till three with the kindergarten crowd at a haunted-house pumpkin farm. Two hayrides and punkin pluckings in one day seriously had me bone tired. Apparently I am not... more

I recently received this question from another birthmother.

“I moved and lost contact with my child’s adoptive parents. I didn’t write or call them and they don't have my new address, phone number, or email address. I just needed some space but I guess I went about it the wrong way. I really miss them and would like to re-connect. I still have all of their contact information, unless it has changed and I don’t know it.

I want to call, email, or write a letter but am scared. Do you have any advice?”

First of all, try not to be too hard... more

It’s Noah’s eleventh birthday today and Charlie is catching up to him as he just turned six last month. It’s so weird to write that, so very odd to think I have two children, two wild, rowdy boys (maybe not living in my home, but two children just the same) that are eleven and six years old!

Can someone please explain to me where the time went? Better yet, can someone please stop the clock so they will not grow any older! I can remember each of my boys being born, just as if it were yesterday. Noah barely weighed four pounds and twelve ounces while Charlie, who was born... more

My older daughter had a hilarious if not somewhat embarrassing situation at school today.

Every Wednesday they attend Chapel first thing, and today it seems that the five year old sister had slipped her big sister’s BRA into her back pack, and was showing it around during the services (ok, and I have to be even worse and blog about it on the internet!) Danika was horrified, and managed to get her teacher’s attention so she could slip over and get the offending undergarment away from the little bandit.

All I can say is thank goodness... more

We are getting ready for another weekend visit at our house. This time it will be our middle child’s rather large extended birthfamily. A group of about six of them will be coming out for the Halloween celebrations at the nearby resort where we are all owners. Although I do not mind hosting things in our home as we often have in the past, having the activities and run of the resort will be a nice thing! I have not been feeling well this week, so that removes the added stress of needing to clean a messy house for visitors. The cleaning/preparation part of the visit process always... more