I came across a very important post-slash-request over at Open Adoption Support. I feel the need to pass it on to you and hope that you will continue to pass it on. In short: some research is being done on adult adoptees who lived through open adoptions. Their opinions and experiences are requested via a survey.

And now, of course, the long and wordy version!

After reading the post, I contacted Christy Sherman to get some more information... more

I just attended my birth son’s seventh birthday party today. This was the first birthday party (the party that family members and friends his age are invited to) I have attended since his second birthday party.

I felt so uncomfortable and out of place at his first and second birthday parties that I decided I wouldn’t attend anymore. We decided to have a private birthday celebration each year with just Charlie, his parents, sister, and myself, my hubby, and my parented son and have been doing that ever since.

But things changed this year. Our open adoption has taken on a whole different dynamic as Charlie vocalizes his wants, needs, and desires. When he asks me to specifically... more

I’ve heard several birthmothers involved in open adoptions mention lately that someone they know had made the “co-parenting and adoption correlation.” You know, where they’ll say that open adoption is a form of co-parenting.

I was thinking about this and wondering when someone thinks or says that where are they coming from? What actions in an open adoption are causing them to think that a birthmother participating in an open adoption is co-parenting? The next person I come in contact with who says that open adoption is like co-parenting I will ask why they think and... more

I really encourage you to sit down (if you are not already) and write a letter to your child each year around his or her birthday.

I actually started this Tradition with the son I am parenting. His first year of life had so many ups and downs because of medical issues stemming from his prematurity that a few days before his first birthday I sat down and wrote a letter to him briefly recapping everything that we had been through in that first year of his life. When his second birthday rolled around I did the same and it just became a tradition. I’ve put them up for... more

Gifts are a fun part of any birthday. In the beginning they were pretty stressful for me to buy because I wasn’t sure where the boundaries were with how much I could give Charlie and I put a lot of stress on myself to find that “perfect” gift. However, I have learned a few things over the years and will share those tips with you.

1. Ask your child’s parents for in put on the gift. Children’s likes and dislikes change so quickly so you will probably want to find out what your child is in to at that moment. If you will be purchasing clothes, find out what size... more

In my last post, I talked about Charlie’s upcoming seventh birthday. I mentioned that birthdays are hard each and every year but the good part is that at least I know they will be hard. Below are a few of the things that have helped me get through each birthday.

Spending time with Charlie on his birthday. I know not everyone can do this though and this will be the first year that I haven’t been able to do it. Writing a birthday letter. Each year around... more

Charlie will celebrate his seventh birthday on Saturday. I know I probably say this every year (or at least think it!) but it is so hard to believe that he is turning seven!

At times, it seems like only yesterday I was holding a tiny baby in a hospital bed preparing to do the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do in my life while at other times it seems like a lifetime ago.

Most birthmothers will agree that their child’s birthday is a hard day for them. Personally speaking, in the days leading up to Charlie’s birthday are very emotional. I find myself reliving all... more

Most kids have been back in school for a few weeks now. School started here at the end of August. Charlie is now in the first grade.

When Charlie went to his first day of Kindergarten two years ago I was pretty emotional. Like so many of the moments in open adoption, it was bittersweet. I was of course, excited for Charlie, but at the same time I was well aware of what I was missing.

Also, like many of the moments I have experienced in my adoption, I thought that those moments would be isolated to that year. I thought the feelings I was experiencing were... more

Over the weekend, I was at home alone for a bit. All was quiet and I was in a pretty mellow mood, just kind of working on some things but nothing too intent. I had the TV on for background noise as I so often do. This time it was tuned to CMT or Country Music Television if you are unfamiliar with the acronym. A video was on but I wasn’t really paying attention to the song but the chorus caught my ear and I stopped what I was doing for a moment to pay closer attention. Although the song Rocks... more

On Saturday, I blogged about a new show on the WE channel called The Locator. In that post, I said I probably wouldn’t watch The Locator. This is an emotional time of year for me with my son’s upcoming birthday so I knew that I shouldn’t watch it but somehow my television ended up on that channel anyways. I admit I was curious and not very bright at that moment.

So as I mentioned in my previous post, The Locator features investigator Troy Dunn. He... more