The case of Gary Stocklaufer has been discussed here in the blogs and has been in many newspapers.

In case you are not familiar with Gary Stocklaufer, he is the Missouri man who has been denied the right to adopt the infant, Max, who has been in his and his wife’s care for four months. Gary is overweight and the judge ruled that he was too fat and could die early leaving the child without a father and had the child removed from Gary and his wife’s care. Many people in the adoption community are outraged (and rightly so!) at this tragic turn of events and feel sorry for Gary and his wife and of course, baby Max, who is now in foster care.

When instant messaging with my co-blogger Deb last night, she brought up someone that has also been hurt in this case, that many of us (including myself until she brought it to my attention) are forgetting in this scenario and that is Max’s birthmom.

Making an adoption plan is no easy task. It is one of the hardest decisions that I have ever had to make in my lifetime but ultimately I decided it was what was best for my son at that time in my life. I’m sure that Max’s birthmom went through the agonizing decision making process too and then ultimately decided it was what was best for her son too and now it’s all been uprooted and undone.

Her child is no longer with the family that she chose, which are also biologically related to Max as well. Instead Max is now in a foster home and no one is quite sure what is going to happen.

I started to put myself in her shoes and think about how I would feel in her situation. Charlie’s adoptive mother, A., is in a wheelchair. There are some people who may feel that a person in a wheelchair is not as fit to be a parent as someone who is not. Obviously, I’m not one of those people since I placed Charlie with A. But, I started thinking – what if the judge who was going to finalize Charlie’s adoption felt that because she was in a wheelchair she would be unfit to parent Charlie and removed Charlie from A’s home and into foster care. I would be devastated and feel extremely violated that a decision that I had struggled so much to make was being torn a part in a matter of minutes at one judge’s discrepancy.

Does this whole situation outrage you as well? Check out Deb’s post from yesterday in which she provides those of you who want to take action a sample letter along with contact addresses of people you can contact about this case.