Many of you might have encountered one of the posts or articles about one Missouri family, who have recently and unfairly been denied their adoption petition.

Gary and Cynthia Stocklaufer, along with son Bobby (also an adoptee) came to court in late July hoping to enter their petition to adopt the tiny biological cousin of Gary, a three month old baby boy whom they named Max. Instead the Stocklaufer family had their son/brother traumatically removed, because the court commissioner (Judge) believed the adoptive father is too obese.

The family is doing everything possible to meet the courts demands in order to have their son quickly returned to them. Mr. Stocklaufer has even traveled to the Dallas area to undergo a gastric bypass, in hopes he will attain the “weight” the court deems appropriate in order to adopt. Meanwhile a father, mother, and older brother grieve the loss of their littlest loved one, and a birthmother’s faith and trust has also been severely breached by this Jackson county court.

Because this was a private, familial placement, and Gary’s cousin surrendered her son to the Stocklaufer’s to adopt, this action taken directly preceding the acceptance of the birthmother’s termination of rights, appears to be more of a state kidnaping than an action of “best interests” of the child.

In my own experience with this same Jackson county court, I have witnessed a pattern of their creating fear among adopting families. Fear of possible abrupt adoption disruptions, with little or flimsy cause. I know from when our own son’s adoption was to be finalized, a day when all hoops have been jumped through, all conditions met, and a child has been residing with his family for a period of six months, this should be a simple formality, and a cause for celebration and joy. I remember being shocked at our court hearing when the attorney warned us that the judge could still, a this late date, and for very little cause, chose to disrupt our adoption.

The case of the Stocklaufer family, and other unidentified stories from our attorney and social worker, tell a tale that this happens far too often in Jackson county, Missouri. No doubt others have similar stories to share, and if nothing else, at least feel justifiable anger over hearing about the Stocklaufer situation. There is something others CAN do to help this family, and the others who have endured similar situations, and that is to write to those in charge and demand accountability. I urge anyone who reads over the information, and feels compelled to action, to please use the template provided here (inserting your own name and information), and write to the court and ask for justice for this, and the many other families.

The names and address provided are those of the acting commissioner who is overseeing the Stocklaufer case. A commissioner is NOT a Judge, but a licenced attorney, acting on behalf of the judicial system, and in place of a presiding Judge.

Please cut and paste this template into your wordperfect program and fill in your information in the blanks provided. You may phone the commissioner at 816-435-4715, or fax your letter of complaint to that office at 816-435-8016. A copy of this letter may also be emailed to the following address, div40.cir16@courts.mo.gov

Commissioner Geoffrey Allen
Division 40
Family Court Division
625 East 26th Street
Kansas City, Mo. 64108



Honorable Commissioner Allen,

It is with a great deal of concern for the best interests and welfare of children who will transition to permanency through adoption that I, _______________ write to you today. The decisions you must make have a tremendous impact on the families and children of Jackson county, Missouri. As a concerned citizen my wish at this time, is to encourage you to further evaluate some of your current practices.

The case of Mr. And Mrs. Gary Stocklaufer, of Independence , Missouri, was recently brought to light, and there are concerns about the trauma that may have been unduly inflicted upon this adoptive family at their July hearing. The biological infant cousin of Mr. Stocklaufer was privately placed within the family, and they sought to make legal the parent/child relationship between them. From the reports available to the public, the infant was unfairly removed from this family, and the adoptive fathers excess weight was sited as the good cause.

The released comment from the court appointed guardian seemed to suggest that the weight of the father (not an issues in a prior adoption) now is somehow a concern for possible future medical issues like diabetes and sleep apnea. This judgment seems extreme and harsh, considering anyone is subject to possible and unpredictable concerns through out their lives, whether weight is at issue or not. To my understanding a limit on weight or possible future unpredictable health issues is not a legal, or realistic consideration to be able to adopt in the state of Missouri.

Even more alarming is that a child, already subject to the lifelong issues unique to adoption, already separated from his birthmother, has been caused further trauma, by being now fully removed from his extended biological and adoptive family. A child would normally be removed if they were in immediate danger of abuse or neglect, but this particular case does not seem to suggest that. Not only has the infant been caused additional trauma through this abrupt separation, but his older sibling, who also shares his adoption related issues, may be negatively impacted as well.

As a citizen who is deeply concerned about the welfare of those children who must transition through adoption, I ask you to reconsider the Stocklaufer case. By all accounts Mr. Stocklaufer is making every prompt effort to meet court requirements that do seem excessive and unfair. The unnecessary separation of this family will have a negative impact on both adopted children. I would like to ask you to please return the infant to his adoptive/biological family, and proceed with them through supervision. I would like to request that unfair limitations to the adoption, such as weight and skin color be removed from the consideration.

Thank you for your time and consideration for my letter.

Sincerely,


__(name)__________

__(address)______