A recent story about Gary Stocklaufer, a fellow Missourian, adoptive parent, and larger size person, has really upset me quite a bit. Abby at the adoptee blog first linked to the story of this Missouri foster dad, arriving in court to complete part of the process to adopt his cousin’s newborn baby, privately placed with them at birth, only to be sent home denied their adoption petition. The shocked parents had their now four month old son suddenly taken away. Why? All because according to the courts of Jackson county, Stocklaufer is to obese to adopt the infant.

The odd thing is that years earlier, Stocklaufer, who is a licenced Missouri foster parent, adopted another son, and the same judge ruled in favor of that petition. Stranger still is that this was a private placement of the second baby, who is in fact a biological son of Stocklaufer’s own cousin.

The infant in this case was also not in Missouri foster care prior to the Stocklaufer family bringing him home, and making legal preparations to adopt the child. This was a private placement, and a kinship placement. Stocklaufer is a licenced foster parent and has met the legal requirements to legally adopt one non-relative child several years prior to this placement. As far as I am aware at this time, Missouri law puts no limitations on the weight of those applying to adopt. It is a good thing too, because a good many Missourians, myself included, would not make the cut.

To me this really has all the ear marks of a court system who has begun to vastly over step it authority regarding the “best interests” of children who are NOT in it’s care at the time of adoptive placement. This bothers me because my own son’s adoption experienced similar harsh scrutiny under the same Jackson county court system. Our son’s birthmother was harshly reprimanded by the judge about her personal choice of a white adoptive couple for her African American son. Another couple that same day had been denied their finalization, because the same judge felt they were not doing enough as white parents to raise their black daughter. I suppose I can only be thankful the fact that I am too white, or too obese did not cause our own adoption petition to be rejected.

Well the hopeful good twist in this story is that the Dallas area Renaissance hospital, has offered Gary Stocklaufer a gastric bypass to help him drop the weight, on the house. The most recent article states that Stocklaufer has already traveled to Dallas after losing 60 pounds on his own, and will undergo the bypass procedure sometime in the next two weeks. He is hoping to be able to drop an additional 100 pounds after the surgery, and most importantly prove he is a fit father and see his son returned to his care.

"Just because I'm this size doesn't make me a bad person," he said. "Give me the opportunity to show what I can do. I want my son.”

Well there are many of us in Missouri who are wishing Gary Stocklaufer well. Hopefully his surgery will be successful, and most importantly he will have his precious son quickly returned. I know this Missourian is also hoping that bringing attention to this situation will bring more scrutiny upon the court and the current system in this state. We all want families to be safe and healthy, and we also want to see that they have a right to pursue their happiness as a legal and respected family, regardless of size or color.

"Show Me" A State Of Misery Missouri

Photo- Gary Stocklaufer and sons