In my last post I wrote about how Charlie has recently begun asking questions regarding the night he was born. I encouraged each of you to write down all the details about your child’s birth. But you may be wondering what details should you include? Below is a list of ideas to get you started.
- Write about where you were when you realized you were in labor, who you were with, etc. Or if you were induced write about how and why your doctor came to the decision that inducing you was necessary. Write about how you felt during all of this.
- Write about going to the hospital. What did you do to prepare? Who took you to the hospital? What
Many children like to hear their birth story. Even Noah (my twelve year old son that I parent) still enjoys me telling him all about the day he was born. I tell him that he was impatient and arrived early because he couldn’t wait to see the world. I tell him about how his first cry reminded me of a kitten meowing. I also include age appropriate details about the pregnancy complications I had and the complications he had once he was born. Considering that Noah enjoys hearing the details of the day he was born, it should have been no surprise to me that Charlie would want to hear these details as well. Charlie’s adoptive Mom, A, told me awhile back that he had recently… [more]
Being a birthmother and dealing with all the emotions that go with it on a daily basis, is not an easy task, yet even on our darkest of days, we can at least find a few things to be grateful for such as the last scoop of chocolate chip ice cream in your fridge or your fuzzy bunny slippers on a cold winters night. As Thanksgiving draws near, many of us give a little bit of thought to things we are thankful for, but why should we limit that to just this time of year. Use this Thanksgiving season to jump start a “gratitude journal” and then continue it through out the upcoming year. What is a gratitude journal? I originally heard about gratitude journals on… [more]
In my last post I wrote about how I have been really struggling with my depression lately but how in the past week to week and half my mood and demeanor seems to be lighter and happier and I am partially attributing this change to the daily time I have carved into my busy schedule for crafting. While writing that post, I began to wonder myself, why I find crafting so therapeutic. I think it’s rewarding to me personally for a few reasons. One, you are creating something and you get to see instant results. I love watching something come to life. You start with nothing and with time and work a project begins to take life and come to shape. The end result is… [more]
In this series on therapeutic activities I have shared activities that myself and others may find therapeutic, comforting, and healing. Some of the ideas I have shared thus far are more involved and require a little bit of time, but there are other smaller things that you can do if you are having a rough day but don’t have enough time or energy to sit down and work on your scrapbook or there is not a support group meeting you can attend that day. Below is a list of some my personal favorite therapeutic activities that don’t require much time or thought. 1. Take a nice, long, hot bubble bath with your favorite scented bubble bath. Light some candles too for… [more]
Another thing that birthmothers may find healing and therapeutic is becoming active in the adoption community in some way, shape, or form or assisting pregnant women considering adoption. For me personally, being active in the adoption community can be very healing and often validates that I am not the only one who feels the way I do. This could be any number of things for many birthmothers. Some birthmothers may become active in adoption reform. Initially they may have started on that path to change the way for other birthmothers and adoption, but they also may feel a little self satisfaction and healing from doing this. Other birthmothers may organize or attend birthmother support groups as a therapeutic activity. B, a birthmother who helps… [more]
Some birthmothers may find writing letters to their child is healing and therapeutic. Like with most therapeutic activities, there is no wrong or right way to write letters to your child, whatever works for you and makes you feel better. Some birthmothers write to their child monthly on the day they were born. For example, J’s son was born on the 16th of the month so every month for the first year of his life she wrote a letter to him on the 16th of the month and then continued to as she needed to over the following years. J. says that writing her son was therapeutic and if made her feel a connection to him and closer to him even though he was a few… [more]
One activity that some birthmothers may find therapeutic and healing is blogging. Blogging has become so popular in the past few years; so popular in fact that the word was recently added to the dictionary. Blogging is similar to traditional journaling, only in a more modern, technological fashion. Many triad members are creating personal blogs. Like journaling, a birthmother can blog her innermost thoughts and feelings regarding adoption and being a birthmother. She can laugh, vent, scream, yell, whine, and do anything she wants all from the comfort of her own blog entries. The difference between blogging and traditional journaling lies in the fact that your blog can typically be read by others if you choose to make it public. Other people can… [more]
Being a birthmother is hard with all the ups and downs of the emotional rollercoaster ride that adoption is. We (birthmothers) need outlets for all of the emotions we feel. We need healthy and creative ways to work through the emotions and to cope with being a birthmother. Therapeutic activities are a great way to do this. What are therapeutic activities? The term therapeutic activities sounds really fancy, but it’s not. Therapeutic activities are simply activities that provide you with some personal healing, peace, and/or comfort. They can be an outlet of self expression. They are beneficial because they allow us to physically do something and sometimes to create something tangible to look back on. Therapeutic activities are not going to take… [more]