Resources/ Reviews

A friend of mine sent me a wonderful book recently, "In On It: What adoptive parents would like you to know about adoption" by Elisabeth O'Toole. There's been so much written for members of the triad, what a great idea to have a resource for all the friends and family that support the triad members! A point I try hard to make in all of my books and speaking is that my choice to place my son for adoption was not just my own - it was a choice that had a profound effect on my entire family. I also know that my son's adoptive parents choice to create a family through adoption had a profound effect on their family… [more]

I had the distinct pleasure this past weekend to spend time with Adam Pertman, Executive Director of the Evan B. Donaldson Institute, at the Chicago Area Families For Adoption Conference in Illinois. Mr. Pertman is a staunch advocate for change in adoption and his keynote address was truly inspiring. This week is the release of his newly revised book, "Adoption Nation" which I highly recommend. We shared a table for book signings after each of our presentations and had some time to get to know each other. One sentiment we shared was how many of the attendees of the conference seemed surprised at the information we were each sharing. The idea that an adoptive family is somehow this "different" formation of family… [more]

While I am new to this blogging community (and very excited to join the team!), my story has been years in the making so I'll start this relationship by sharing a bit of it... I was fortunate enough to be among those first pioneers for open adoption. I didn't even know this until about seven years ago when I set out to write my memoir and did some research. At the time all I knew was that I was pregnant, 20 years old, with no birth father around and no job. And even though I had begun talking with a counselor at Catholic Charities about the adoption choice, one thing held me back: there was no way I could say goodbye… [more]

On Sunday morning my husband mentioned he’d seen an interesting piece in the morning paper—“Embryo Adoption Plants a Complex Family Tree”—and he asked me to read it because he wanted to know my thoughts. The article tells the story of Pat and Jen McLaughiln, a couple from Missouri who used embryos donated by another couple in California to give birth to twin girls. Instead of the anonymous process more common in embryo donation (also sometimes called embryo adoption), the McLaughlins and their donors are approaching their situation more like an open adoption. The McLaughlins have five other children, four adopted from Russian orphanages and one adopted in their home state. According to the article, McLaughlin has never shied away from knowing her adopted children’s pasts. She and her husband, a lawyer, had… [more]

To celebrate the first birthday of the Open Adoption Blogroll, Heather at Production, Not Reproduction invited OA bloggers to participate in the Open Adoption Bloggers Interview Project. My partner for the project was Weaver, an adult who was raised in open adoption, who blogs at Communities Don’t Get Built.... Many hopeful adoptive parents seek out the input and experiences of first parents and adoptees in an attempt to understand more about what adoption means to those on the other sides of the triad. (And if you’re not doing this, you should be. But that’s a topic for another post.) But far fewer adoptive parents actively seek to learn more about the experiences of those first parents and adoptees who write from an anti-adoption perspective. It’s human nature, after all… [more]

I couldn’t sleep last night and was channel surfing when I turned to Lifetime and wouldn’t you know that a movie with an adoption theme was coming on. The movie was called Our Son the Matchmaker and is based on “actual events.” It was actually a decent movie that I didn’t find a whole lot wrong with. It left me feeling warm and fuzzy inside with the story book ending. In the movie, we meet Julie (played by Ann Jillian) and soon learn that she is a forty three year old birthmother. She is at work one day when a social worker comes and tells her she needs to speak with her privately. The social worker speaks with her and lets her know that the… [more]

Adoption has been the part in a lot of story lines on television lately. I wrote about it being a part of a story line on Without a Trace recently as that particular episode revealed that one of the characters was a birthmother. Jenna has written about an adoption storyline on One Tree Hill as one character wanted to adopt and another character is an adoptee. The daytime drama One Life to Live has recently had a story line about a character experienced an unplanned (teen) pregnancy and made an adoption plan. Adoption also sprung up in the remake of Beverly Hills 90210 when viewers learned two characters were birthparents and another was an adoptee. It’s been in Grey’s Anatomy

Earlier this week I was relaxing and watching Without a Trace. I was not expecting the show to have anything to do with adoption but of course it snuck up on me in the episode. In case you don’t watch the show, I’ll explain the premise of it. In each episode a person (adult or child) goes missing and the missing persons unit (the main characters in the show) of the FBI tries to unravel the mystery and locate them. The missing person on this particular episode was a young woman who was probably in her 30’s. While the members of the Missing Persons Unit are trying to locate her, we learn a lot about her. The first thing we learn is that she and her… [more]

I've been thinking long and hard about sharing some wise words from an adoptive mother about open adoptions here on the blog. All week, I've been trying to find the right words to share this post from Dawn over at This Woman's work. In her post, she really lays it on the line about some issues surrounding open adoption, adoptive parents and responsibility. I've wanted to share these words with our readers here because I feel that they are so vital to so many. But I'm a birth mother. It's fine for Dawn to be in-your-face about responsibility in adoption because she's an adoptive mother. But me? I'm just one of those birth mothers. I need to walk on eggshells when I talk about responsibility because, well, as someone… [more]

I came across a very important post-slash-request over at Open Adoption Support. I feel the need to pass it on to you and hope that you will continue to pass it on. In short: some research is being done on adult adoptees who lived through open adoptions. Their opinions and experiences are requested via a survey. And now, of course, the long and wordy version! After reading the post, I contacted Christy Sherman to get some more information about the survey, the purpose and the person behind it all. She happily provided me with some answers and I feel confident that her intention is good and that those responding will be in good hands. The specifics: the survey is for adult adoptees who have lived through open… [more]