Things Our Kids Say

Rachel wasn't the only sibling to be won over by her big brother. Years later, when my second daughter was born, the process repeated itself. For Amanda, the day Joe’s status of “brother” became real was when she was five. Joe had come to visit in order to surprise Rachel at the Madrigal performance her school orchestra was doing at the high school. We were at the house, Joe, my parents, my husband and Amanda, waiting for the time to go to the school. Amanda had not seen Joe since she was little, and couldn’t remember it, so she was eyeing him closely during this visit. After a few minutes of visiting, Amanda suddenly ran upstairs to her room, returning in… [more]

I was so scared the morning we were to meet. Mom came along, she had been there the last time I saw Joe, she had kissed him goodbye too. When we arrived, my heart began racing as I saw them step out of their van. Joe's parents and I immediately hugged, and cried, and said “Thank you” to each other until we laughed. Then I saw Joe. His head came just up to my chin. I knew every detail of his face already from studying the photos. I said hello and hugged him, kissing the top of his head. After a minute or more sobbing into his fuzzy hair, it dawned on me – “I’m  probably scaring the pants off this poor… [more]

If anyone ever asks me about the type of work that I do blogging here, I usually describe it as having to do with adoption, and educational in nature. Of course I am hoping to educate others, but I am also involved in my own seemingly endless learning process at the same time. With that in mind you would think that things in my own household are fairly well understood concerning adoption issues right? Well apparently, as I found out today, you would be VERY wrong! This morning I almost choked on my breakfast, when I over heard a conversation my five year old was having with her older sister while playing dolls. The part that smacked me upside the head (and made me swallow my… [more]

A (Charlie's adoptive Mom) relayed a story to me the other day that has me amazed and very proud at the amount of compassion my little Charlie has for other people at almost six years old. Some friends of A’s were adopting and were matched with an expectant mother. It’s a very long story as to why, but the friends called A and asked her to come up to the hospital because of some problems they were having with the social worker. A said ok but would have Charlie with her since he only had a half day of school that day. Driving to the hospital she tried to explain a little bit of what was going on, that this Mom (we will call her Brittany)… [more]

After reading another of Jenna’s great posts, I admit this one had me really thinking. Honestly this young woman has such an exceptional way with words! I really feel she won’t be at a loss for those words when her daughter needs to hear from her heart, but I could see what she was trying to express. I have no doubt that birthparents fear that day, the day when their old enough child is able to verbalize the question that perhaps they fear the most. WHY? Why did adoption happen, and what does it say about me (the child). The nature of maturing just demands that children try and find the answers that fit into how they understand their experience… [more]

“A new baby is like the beginning of all things-wonder, hope, a dream of possibilities.” -Eda J. Le Shan There is and always will be nothing more wonderful and pure as a new, fresh little person entering the world. Yesterday my son’s little half brother, who lives with his mom in another state, was two weeks old! While we have yet to met the little fellow in person, but my son is so excited to look in on the many pictures we have been getting in emails about him. It is really sweet to see how excited Carson gets! I hope that this bud of feelings for his little sibling will be allowed to grow and expand. I hope that soon we… [more]

Today I did something I found I should be doing a lot more of. My smaller children had a question and I followed it through with them to find the real life answer right in the moment it was in the fore front of their little minds.. It was an awesome experience helping them learn a lesson in responsibility, and in the process I learned my own lesson about how I can be doing more things like this as a mom to teach them. When my three year old son and I arrived to pick his four year old sister up from preschool today we noticed a beautiful chocolate lab wandering in the front lot of the school. We also spotted… [more]

Today is my precious Danika’s big 10th birthday! It is hard to believe that our family has shared a whole decade of watching her grow in grace and beauty. Honestly where does the time go? Today, although her actual birthday, was also our preparation day for the family party tomorrow. We worked around the house getting ready and she was so excited to get several calls from friends, family, and birthfamily through out the day. When her little brother and sister were napping, and her Dad was at the store, she and I had a chance to talk about other aspects of her “big” life change. As we talked I learned a whole decade is an amazing passage of time for us… [more]

While talking to our kids about their adoption experience can be a time to connect and discover how their little minds are processing things, there can also be some tough stuff in adoption we will need to explain as well. Explaining some difficult things that perhaps led up to an adoptive placement is one example. Knowing how to speak to your child about situations that were at play in their birthparent’s life that precipitated an adoption is hard and needs to be addressed with care for how the explanations will effect the child’s self esteem. Telling the truth, but in a way that disagrees with actions while it does not reflect judgement on the person involved is a good way to go about this… [more]

My almost ten year old just returned from Girl Scout camp today. She had a great time! I went to pick her up, I just love those times because it seems like we have some of the best conversations about what is going on in her life, and often adoption is part of that conversation. Today was just such a time and we talked at length about adoption and her feelings about being an adopted person. Then suddenly she had a light bulb moment, she asked if she could share some information with adoptive parents about being adopted and I thought that was a great idea. What Danika has to say about adopting parents and their child. . . If an… [more]