Visits

“I’m thinking about coming out there to go to school,” Bri said. Jammie could sense some hesitancy in her voice and knew exactly the reason why. “You don’t have to worry about us,” my wife, Jammie said. “We’re not going to try to pressure you or talk you into coming out here to see us any more often than you are comfortable. Adoption stories are not easily told in a single blog post. Adoption stories, just like any good novel, begin somewhere and take a long time to unfold. Unlike any novel, however, the story never stops- especially nowadays when the majority of adoptions are open adoptions. “It’s just that… I dunno,” Bri continued. “I’m thinking that the university out there would be a better fit for me than the one here where I… [more]

She was the most beautiful little girl I had ever laid my eyes on! There are a lot of things that have made my life as an adoptive father unique. One of those differences that I love is the fact that both of our adoptions were blessed by women who let us be part of the hospital experience. For both adoptions, we were both in the delivery room. I imagine that adoptive parents are the only ones who are able to experience the joy of standing together, hand in hand, over the newborn child while the nurses suck out the baby’s nose, squirt goo into the child’s eyes, poke and prod and do all the things they were trained to do. Usually it’s the father that gets to watch while mom… [more]

I was recently asked a question from a friend who was soon to adopt. She said that she liked the idea of open adoption, but didn’t know what level of openness they wanted for their family. It’s an interesting question and I wish more couples would take it seriously (this friend of mine is taking it seriously). Waiting for a baby is so very hard. I remember very well when we were waiting, especially the first time we adopted. There was no way of knowing if we would get a call within a week to tell us there was a child ready for our home or if we would need to wait five more years before someone would even notice our profile. Everything I… [more]

Today is his 3rd birthday. It has been quiet today other then the sniffling and sneezing that has accompanied this 'wonderful' cold. The weather is dreary, and I hear a crow cawing. Aren't they supposed to go south or something? Anyways, my head is all over the place today  but my heart is generally at peace, despite not having seen him this year. I am ok with that, and kinda grateful to have a year that hasn't sent me into a complete depression. That is not saying that i will not cry, or have a moment when 3:30pm rolls around, or doesn't mean I won't feel a little sad, because it is ok. It is alright to grieve. It is ok to allow those… [more]

“I’m going to vote for him because he reaches across the aisle,” some people say. I hate politics. I hate it but I can’t help but follow it. Following politics is one of those chores that I do because it’s my civic duty, it’s what I think everyone should do, it’s yada yada yada. I ask myself, “What would it be like if politicians really had the public’s best interest in mind?” I mean, I think they want to do the right thing, but when push comes to shove their first priority seems to protect their career and their second is to protect their self interest groups. Instead, the laws and regulations that get passed all depend on what party is in charge-… [more]

I peel the top half of a banana and hold it out to my little boy. The little man, who is about two months shy of his second birthday, claps his hands and takes it from me with a smile. He bites off the top inch then holds it out for me to take a bite. I tell him that I don’t want any, so he chomps off another piece and chews on it. He makes his way over to his baby sister, lying on a blanket, and holds the banana out for her to take a bite. Of course, Baby Sister doesn’t even have teeth, nor has she started on solid foods, so she just looks up at him… [more]

This post is an addition to my last post entitled "Hook Me Up To Some Electrodes, I'm ready for adoption..." Our second adoption was night and day different from our first adoption when it came to the birthfathers. In our first adoption, he did nothing but cause trouble. He paid no attention at all to the baby that was about to be born all through the pregnancy, and then after we’d had the baby in our home for a month, he decided to cause a ruckus. We later found out that the ruckus began after his mom found out that he’d fathered a child. Anyway, when our second adoption rolled around, Caleb, the birthfather, did want to be part of things. Let… [more]

In college I studied psychology and got my degree in sociology. I’m the kind of nerd that chooses to still study that kind of stuff even though I’m no longer in school, there’s no test coming up, and it has nothing to do with my choice of profession. There was a fascinating period of time where psychology was both the most shameful and the most interesting at the same time- in the 1950’s and 1960’s. Back then you could do these horrible experiments on unsuspecting people and just say, “Well, it’s all in the name of science.” Nowadays you’d probably go to jail for some of the crazy things they pulled back then. One of those experiments that you’d never be allowed to… [more]

As I stood in line, about to update my Facebook status with something about hell and lines, Tara called.

Tara is his mom, has been his mom since he came home to her and her husband and already bustling household  on a cold January day in 2009.… [more]

Every year since he was born, Tara, myself and Phoenix, along with my oldest son get together and have a small visit. I bring him presents, to say happy birthday with, and I watch my boys play together. Last year was especially great. Phoenix would sit on the steps in the play area at McDonald's and motioned for Nick, my oldest son, to sit with him. He was a hoot, and they had more fun together. I got to hug him, and sit with him while Tara went to get food. I still remember his first birthday. All of the adoptive family, plus some were there, and I had made a cake-a red velvet with whipped topping for frosting. Well, Phoenix was sitting… [more]