In The News

States across the nation are entertaining legislation that open up adoption records and give adoptees access to their original birth certificates. The laws that currently govern adoptee rights are decades old, dating back to the days when adoption itself was considered shameful by most and, thus, shrouded in secrecy. For as increasingly common as openness in adoptions is of late, such openness is a newer trend. Many, if not all, adult adoptees crave the knowledge and connection that comes with their original birth certificate. For many adoptees, the original birth certificate is the only means of tracing their genetic roots. But what happens when a birth parent doesn't want to be found? Just such a case recently hit the news, bringing to light… [more]

In the past few weeks I have seen several articles about birthmothers and adoption. Like most articles I read that pertain to birthmothers and adoption, there are positive points, points I liked, as well as points that made me cringe and points I thought they could have left out but overall I think these articles are pretty good. I thought I’d highlight a few of those articles and the positive points here. This article titled Celebrating Birthmothers out of the Calgary Herald discusses Birthmother’s Day and features bits of the story of a 23 year old birthmother named Tina Johnson who placed a now 8 year old boy in an open adoption directly following his birth when she was 15 years old. The article… [more]

Recently I was watching Television and I remember thinking that I was glad what I was watching didn’t have an adoption theme as it seems that adoption themes are popping up all over the place on various TV shows lately. So imagine my surprise when an adoption commercial pops up. I’ve never seen this type of an adoption commercial before. I have seen commercials (usually during November for National Adoption Awareness Month) in which they are advertising that they need adoptive parents for older children or foster parents but this commercial was for a domestic adoption agency that facilitates open adoptions. In the commercial, which is probably all of ninety seconds, an adoptive mom makes some nice statements about how they have an extended family… [more]

The title of an article out of Oklahoma caught my eye. "Open Adoption Good for All Involved" Well, maybe. It can happen. And that's why I find the title to be misleading. Open adoption is not automatically a good thing for all involved. When adoption agencies, attorneys and facilitators try to sell it to both expectant parents considering placement and potential adoptive families as the easy and good answer to the "problem" at hand, both parties are being set up for failure. Without the truth that it involves a lot of hard work, even when you don't feel like putting forth any more effort, families are entering into the situation blindly. It's a recipe for disaster at times, especially when you consider that not all states have legally binding open adoptions. In… [more]

I’m sure most of you have heard or read about the tragedy at Little Sioux Scout Ranch in Iowa in which four boy scouts were killed as the result of a sudden tornado. One of those boys killed was thirteen year old Sam Thomsen. While reading an article covering this tragedy, I learned that Sam was adopted. Now normally mentioning that someone who died was adopted would annoy me a tad if it wasn’t imperative to the story, but the way it was done in this article and by Sam’s parents tugged at my heart. You see, Sam was born three months premature and then placed for adoption. Because of his prematurity, doctors feared that he might have vision, hearing, or other life long problems. That… [more]

Last Sunday, twenty year old Kelsey Cartwright was crowned Miss Oklahoma. And you’re probably wondering why I am writing about the new Miss Oklahoma on an adoption blog but that is because her platform is open adoption! In case you don’t know much about pageants, each beauty queen has to choose a platform or a cause and she spends her year long reign promoting and speaking on and about her platform. Miss Oklahoma has chosen open adoption as her platform for personal reasons. Her father, William Cartwright, is an adoptee of the closed adoption era. When her Father decided that he was ready to search for his birth parents he quickly found out how difficult and challenging that can be since his adoption records were sealed. Oklahoma… [more]

A story of adopted twins separated at birth out of the UK adds another reason to my list of why open adoptions are a good thing and why adoptees should have easier access to their adoption records that contain their biological information. Although, this particular instance occurred in the UK, it is still something that could easily occur in the United States. Two twins were separated and then immediately adopted at birth by different families never knowing that they were in fact a twin. They go on to meet each other as adults, still not knowing that they are biologically brother and sister, fall in love, and get married. They later find out that they are biological siblings – twins – who were separated at… [more]

The news out of Kansas City today is that little baby Max has been returned to the home of Gary & Cynthia Stocklaufer. The hearing today at 9:30 am before Judge John R. O’Malley appears to have straightened out the issues of immediate custody, and has moved forward the petition for the legal adoption of baby Max by the Stocklaufers. The baby was returned to the family right after the court hearing today. I am sure the joy that Gary, Cynthia & big brother Bobby must be feeling is beyond words this evening. I hope with all the excitement that little Max is able to rest peacefully tonight, his first night back with the family who has moved heaven and earth to see him home… [more]

I received an interesting email last week, just about the time the news hit the press concerning the transfer of baby Max back to the Stocklaufer family. The return of the baby was supposed to occur December 31st, ordered by Judge John R. O’Malley. This was a reversal of a previous decision by commissioner Allen in the family court. Unfortunately the transfer didn’t happen at all. The email I received was from someone claiming to be a friend of Tandy and Scott Kraus, of Grain Valley, Missouri. This friend wanted me to understand the position of the Kraus family, and how they have been wronged in this situation. I admit that I was curious to ask them a few questions and hear their perspective. I… [more]

OMG. After I stopped crying, I had to sit down and tell my readers how incredibly validating Nancy Spoolstra’s interview today on Kansas City’s Channel 4 was, concerning the Stocklaufer family and others like them. Just to hear the truth at the heart of all adoption trauma and loss, really made me feel like I really am not alone, and I am not even the family she was hoping to help. To actually hear someone telling about the trauma that our children deal with, in essence lending them a real voice, was so wonderful it had me crying and doing cartwheels! Yes, you naughty Nancy, you had me in tears, but in a good way. I get it, I DO, and I hope that others… [more]