Ethics In Adoption

I love sociology. That’s what I majored in when I was in college (although my career has nothing to do with sociology now). There was a famous experiment by Milgram that just fascinated me. The volunteer sat in front of a switchboard and he was told to shock the other person every time a wrong answer was given. The person giving the answers to questions was out of sight—on the other side of a wall. After a while, the guy getting shocked started to complain about the pain, as if it was damaging his heart. Then when the volunteer looks to quit the experiment, some guy in a lab coat comes in and tells him he has to continue. So even though… [more]

When I was a single college student, being a musician, I used to host what we called “Acoustic Night” once a month at my house. My friends and I would invite a bunch of people over to listen to a variety of people play songs on their acoustic guitars and we’d make an evening of it. It was a lot of fun. One evening, though, after the whole shin-dig was over and I thought everybody had left, I could hear some voices coming from my kitchen. I walked in to find three guys helping themselves to my fridge and my cupboards, preparing themselves some food and laughing about it the whole time they did it. I snatched the sandwich right out… [more]

“I’m going to vote for him because he reaches across the aisle,” some people say. I hate politics. I hate it but I can’t help but follow it. Following politics is one of those chores that I do because it’s my civic duty, it’s what I think everyone should do, it’s yada yada yada. I ask myself, “What would it be like if politicians really had the public’s best interest in mind?” I mean, I think they want to do the right thing, but when push comes to shove their first priority seems to protect their career and their second is to protect their self interest groups. Instead, the laws and regulations that get passed all depend on what party is in charge-… [more]

I peel the top half of a banana and hold it out to my little boy. The little man, who is about two months shy of his second birthday, claps his hands and takes it from me with a smile. He bites off the top inch then holds it out for me to take a bite. I tell him that I don’t want any, so he chomps off another piece and chews on it. He makes his way over to his baby sister, lying on a blanket, and holds the banana out for her to take a bite. Of course, Baby Sister doesn’t even have teeth, nor has she started on solid foods, so she just looks up at him… [more]

When our first son was born my husband wanted to name him Obi Wan. Luckily for my son (who, at age ten, claims he would have loved the name) I was quick to veto that idea. Giving a child a name is no easy task and it is made even harder when someone else has already done it for you. Adopting a child from foster care often means your child comes with a name and deciding to make a change is not something that should be taken lightly. However, I understand the desire for many reasons. One child, who lived with us in foster care, was given a name that was a slang term for a good drug. Needless to say we called… [more]

This latest OAB Roundtable prompt was a tricky one. It’s all about privacy vs. blogging your heart out (so to speak): This round’s topic was suggested by adoptive parent blogger Rebecca: privacy, blogging and open adoption. Figuring out boundaries is difficult when you write about your personal life. Any on-blog mention of family, friends or co-workers risks invading their privacy. Bloggers who write about or post pictures of their children are accused of exploitation. Where is the line between your own experience and other people’s personal lives? What information is yours to share and what rightfully belongs to someone else? Add the overlapping relationships of open adoption to the mix and you’ve got yourself a potential ethical and personal mess. And… [more]

It seems I still read so much that expects us to believe that the truth of adoption is all black and white, and not ever in shades of grey. While I know that there are many rights and wrongs concerning adoption, ‘black and whites’ if you will, I also have come to understand that the color grey is not as uncommon as many want to believe. Every adoption is unique. For me some of the shades of grey lie in the individual situation, the details that can only apply to that one specific child or family. When some people want us to believe that adoption is always a bad thing for a child, I have to say, “well... not always.” In turn when people want the… [more]

How badly do some people wish to adopt? Would some go so far as to ignore good, ethically sound judgement, just turn a deaf ear to injustices done to biological families in order to accept and keep a child in their home? What kind of family would Do something so cruel and immoral, all in the name of getting what they want (the child)? Apparently these kind of families are in the major headlines of the news everyday, although often we never hear their names, only those who have been victimized by their poor judgement. Recent news has told us about the case of Allison Quets, who wanted her twins returned just an hour after she had signed for the adoption, while suffering from… [more]

This is the third part of my look at possible individual ethical responsibilities in the practice of adoption. I apologize for the delay, I was not well early this week, but am feeling more myself today. You will find parts one and two of the series here. . . Ethics In Adoption, Individual Responsibility - Birthparents Ethics In Adoption, Individual Responsibility- Adoptive Parents It is obvious , with the current process of adoption in our country, adoption agencies and or professionals hold a great deal of the individual responsibility for conducting ethical adoptions. Unfortunately, many do not practice adoption in a way that truly promotes good ethics and safe adoptions for all. Many of the current practices, followed by many adoption professionals could… [more]

When most people think about ethics in the adoption process, they think about what those who are adopting children are doing. Adoptive parents are often seen as the only people with control over the level of ethics in an adoption, but this is untrue. While others such as potential birthparents and adoption professionals also bear varying levels of responsibility, adopting parents do have a need to be throughly informed about the potential placement of a child they might accept. Being able to make good judgements for adopting parents depends heavily on potential birthparents and adoption professionals, and the information that they share with potential parents. Even without good ethical information available though, adopting parents need to step forward and seek whatever information they… [more]