Coley has posted a birthmom's perspective and here is an adoptive mom's.

1. Be flexible. Not only are your child’s Birthparents unique people, they also have a very different perspective on adoption. What might feel like it works good for you, may not for them, so be open to adjustments that can work for everyone.

2. Talk! Talk! Talk! Keep lines of communication open. Better to call if a child is sick and you can’t make the scheduled visit,... more

At my house all the Christmas decorations are put away. Some of the many gifts from the day already broken.

Broken gifts. What do you do?

Well if they are the typical type you can stand in excruciatingly long lines at the retailer to hopefully return for pennies on the dollar of the original price that was paid. That is if you have a receipt. In either case expect a headache.

The fractured gifts I refer to however are not the mass-merchandiser variety. This year was a fresh disappointment for me because it was the first Christmas... more

Not too long ago, I wrote about my personal experience on the first visit in our open adoption after giving birth and relinquishing Charlie. In a second post about first visits I shared tips for birthmoms from a birthmom’s point of view on how to handle your first visit.

Recently, A (Charlie’s adoptive mom) left a comment on her advice for adoptive mom’s from her point of view and I thought I would share that with you…

“As... more

I have been hesitant to share the link to the blogs here with Charlie’s adoptive mom. “Why,” you are probably asking? To be honest, I’m not quite sure how to put it into words. In my posts, I’ve been pretty honest with my feelings and emotions. Writing and reading these blogs has brought up feelings and emotions I didn’t realize I had or I thought I had previously dealt with them and was done so I think I was afraid she might read something and not realize that I felt the way I did about that particular subject. In our relationship and friendship, we have always been... more

I talk to my birthson, Charlie, on the phone fairly often. Most of the time when I am talking to A. if he is around, she will ask him if he wants to say hi and most of the time he does.

At first our conversations were pretty quick. He was just getting the concept of how to chat on the phone. He didn’t know what to say so I could hear A in the background telling him things to say. And he was sometimes hard to understand so A would have to interpret to me what he was saying. He would do the cutest thing (and annoying at times to A!) and hang up the phone... more

A lot of open adoption agreements nowadays may include phone calls. In the beginning of the open adoption agreement, while the child is still small, phone calls (of course) will be between one of the adoptive parents and one of the birthparents.

I’ve always enjoyed talking with Charlie’s adoptive mom on the phone. We don’t always only talk about Charlie. Often times we will talk about our lives in general. We talk about adoption issues, work, extended family members, everyday life, etc; basically just whatever came to mind was good! Chatting on the phone... more

Communication is an integral part of open adoptions. More than just that, communication is an integral part of any relationship. Without communication, relationships (and open adoption) would be nothing. To get anywhere in a relationship and to have a meaningful relationship (an open adoption) communication is a key factor!

Communication in open adoptions can be between birthmom and child or birthmom to adoptive parents. In the beginning, when your child is still an infant, communication lies between the birthmom and adoptive parents.

Sometimes... more