It seems all the current talk about National Adoption Awareness Month has also brought out the ranting and full-blown, mouth foaming raving of the anti-adoption factions too.

I really hate that, but hey if they can rant, so can the rest of us, right?

All these folks do when they shove the sum total of the adoption world into a huge bag and label it all as completely unethical and always unnecessary, is just give reform in its purest sense a really bad name, and further harm the children in question. So many of us really do... more

I really think my opinions about open adoption tend to walk a narrow line between knowing it can be positive, and knowing it can often be not so positive. I have experienced it both ways, and in even our most open ongoing relationship, there is warmth and understanding as well as intense times of disagreement and resentment.

If some people expect me to be always totally positive about open adoption, they will be sadly disappointed. If people wish to hear me consistently spout nothing but negatives about openness, then again, someone... more

Of all the twists and turns in the adoption community, one new thing I have noticed is a small crop of adoptive parents who profess to understand everything that is wrong with adoption, and believe they connect completely with birthparents and their unique issues. This is no small feat in my mind. I will not mention names, or point fingers, but it suffices to say, they are out there. Many readers here may already have met someone like them, and will know what I am talking about.

Let me just say, I know some things that are... more

I was reading a recent article out of out of an Oklahoma City newspaper about the cost of adoption. Often times it is adoptive parents that we hear discussing and complaining (and rightly so!) about the cost of adoption, but it also a troubling issue for me and possibly other birth parents as well for a few different reasons.

First of all, on the emotional side of this issue, the cost of adoption and all the discussion that goes along with it can sometimes make me feel like I “sold my baby.” Of course,... more

I cannot tell you how sick and tired I am of this attitude that adoptive moms are nothing more than greedy, baby- hungry, family wreckers! For the majority of adopting parents, nothing is farther from the truth. No one would fault a biological mother for desiring a child because she wishes to know the joy of being a parent, yet adoptive parents are often fair game for accusations of self-centered ideals if they too wish to joyfully parent a child.

Most adoptive parents come into a situation, as unfortunate as it might be, that is already set in... more

The Welfare Of The People Shall Be The Supreme Law- Motto of the state of Missouri.

I have not been able to write very much lately, I have been too consumed with the welfare of my family, most importantly my three children. We are about to become one of the many Missouri families to lose our health coverage thanks to a loophole in our state laws covering foster, adoptive, and low income families. It really just makes me sick thinking about it.

Currently our family’s... more

So you have adopted a child or are planning to? How about a highway, an impoverished family at holiday time, or a dog at the local pound? There are currently tons of ways people or groups take the terminology of adoption and use those words to create empathy for their situation or purpose, but is it always right? As adoptive parents should we have more concern about the how the word “adoption” has been used to mean a variety of other things in our society? Isn’t this use of adoption language demeaning to our families?

So many seek to take the word... more

Honestly I know that a lot of adoptive parents have experienced anger being unfairly directed at them from those birthparents and adoptees who have an extremely negative view of adoption, but there are also birthparents and adoptees who become targets of this hostility from the same angry groups as well. Those out there who have had what they feel to be a positive adoption experience, or that as birthparents feel confident in their decision to place, are also attacked by people with this negative agenda.

This evening... more

Hate is a pretty strong word, but a word that sums up some of the extreme views going around in the world of adoption today. A good part of this hate/anger develops because of the highly emotional nature of adoption. Often the feelings of those who were (or feel they were) wronged somehow involving their own adoption experience can grow out of control if they do not learn more productive coping methods. Of course we know that many people were wronged or abused concerning adoption, but there is a difference in the way that some of those people are choosing... more

Just in the Associated Press today, Senator Dan Patrick (R-Houston) has proposed a bill that would provide women considering an abortion a monetary incentive ($500) to instead select an adoptive placement.

"We want that lady to have an incentive that makes her stop and think about having an abortion and that gives her a reason to put her baby up for adoption," Patrick said. "My goal is to save as many babies as we possibly can."

... more