Back just before I started blogging here, I was able to host a talk about adoption for my daughter’s 4th grade class. Although there are many adopted persons in her school, she is the sole adoptee in her grade. Her fellow classmates (most she has been with since 3 yr old pre-school) have never been negative about adoption or teased her in any way, still I felt it was the right time to help them have a better understanding of the topic. I thought it was important that my daughter and I together present some adoption related information and... more

Today staffer Brandy over at the forums posed a very interesting question.

What does “adoption friendly state” mean to you?

I think it really takes no amount of guess work to figure out that the “adoption friendly” definition of laws in any state are really described as such with adoptive parents in mind. This is not to say that there are not states with laws that are in fact... more

Wow! A whole month come and gone!

I have tried in my first month to touch on a variety of things rather than put a heavy focus in one area. Hopefully by doing that all of you reading will get a broader idea of the type of things I would like to share here. I have put a bit of my own personal story out there as well, but believe me there is a lot more to come.

I have given my perception of a few things I have run across in the news, the good... more

With all the information out there for adult adoptees seeking to access original birth records when searching for birthparents, I thought it would be good to discuss how having access in an open adoption can benefit your child and their rights to their own information.

It might not sound like a big deal, getting a copy of your adopted child’s original birth certificate, after all you may already know all the information that it would show anyway. For many adoptees however, one of the most stinging realities of being an adopted person lies... more

If you are in the process to adopt you might be considering an open adoption arrangement. There are many positives to having a fully open adoption for your child, but how do you go about initiating openness?

Well even if you are going about adoption through an agency that promotes openness, chances are that the level of openness they are speaking of is still going to be minimal. If a true open relationship with the birthfamily of your adopted child is your goal, you need to be prepared to do a lot of the additional leg work yourself.

By... more

When I started the process to adopt, I was pretty sure I wanted it to be an open adoption. I knew that my future child would get a lot out of knowing his or her birthparents and I hoped that this knowledge would also help them feel secure and loved in their place as an adopted person. I also held the belief that by seeing and knowing my adopted child’s birthparents I would feel less afraid of the unknown things that could stand in the way of being a mom to my child. There would be no invisible, magically perfect person to live up to, or for my child... more

Part 1 Part 2

I was in charge of a large Birthmother’s Day Event in May of last year. Two of the local news stations showed up. One station did a quickie minute and a half blurb about the event, but the other station did a longer, more touching story with a lot of footage of me talking to the reporter and sharing my adoption story with him, as well as some shots of Lani and I at the podium, other girls from the event, etc. That... more

Continued from part 1

It may sound odd that my descent into the closet started with church. But it did! I had given up on going to an organized church. Noah’s special needs and epilepsy would make Sunday School workers at church very nervous, so eventually I just stopped trying. My parents had started going to a new church and my Dad was helping to start a special needs ministry for children at the church. This was my opportunity to get back into church again and I knew I wanted Noah to be a... more

I have to admit that I have not shared the fact that I am writing this blog. with the birthfamilies of my three children yet. On this point, right now anyway, I have not been so “open.” Oh I plan to share with them eventually, I guess I am just waiting for the moment when I feel it will be best heard. I want to feel like they are just as excited about what I am doing as I am, yet afraid they may be less than.

I had thought about sharing with everyone, right away, in fact I was very excited to share what I would be doing with anyone who would... more

Other bloggers have recently talked about their process of coming out of the closet. At first, I don't think I was ever "in the closet" much but there have been times I stepped in and other times I want to run back in!

I was never too secretive about adoption in the beginning. Because of my work and my closeness with the people I worked with at the time, most of them knew about the adoption and even knew S and A since they were lunch time regulars at the restaurant I worked at. When people asked about the baby after he was born, I’d usually respond with... more