One scenario of an interfamily adoption could be a situation where the grandparents are the parents, meaning one the child’s set of grandparents adopt him or her becoming his/her legal parents.

This is the case for fellow birthmother, J. Her parents adopted her daughter K, who is now ten. I had the opportunity to ask J a few questions about how their interfamily adoption is working out and will share the questions and answers with you as they provide interesting first hand insight into an interfamily adoption.

How has this interfamily adoption... more

One form of open adoption that we do not talk about too often is interfamily adoptions. Interfamily adoptions, also known as relative adoptions, involved direct biological relatives of the child adopting the child. The family member who adopted and is raising the child could be birthmother’s sister and her husband, an aunt and uncle, or even her parents.

In many states, relative adoptions are treated less formally than non relative adoptions. Sometimes they require a shortened home study or none at all if they meet that particular state’s definition... more

In my last post, I discussed some of the reasons that your family may be hesitant and leery of open adoption. A lot of those reasons stem from the fact that they are not very educated about the ins and outs of open adoption. If it’s really important to you that other family members be a part of this open adoption too, then you will need to educate them on open adoption a little bit to help them overcome their concerns, fears, and misconceptions regarding open adoption.

Below are a few ways that you can help your family come... more

:Adoption affects not only yourself, but your entire family. Your parents are loosing the privilege of the normal Grandparent role in your child’s life. Your siblings are loosing a niece or a nephew. Yes, through open adoption they can still play some sort of role in your child’s life, but it is still not the same. Your family will experience grief and loss of their role, just as you do.

It’s nice to have our family involved in open adoption not only just for the moral support that we as birthmothers may need, but as an added extension of the birth family for... more

Recently a friend from college and I were having a conversation about open adoption. She was telling me that lately she has been thinking that she and her husband might adopt a child but she was quick to say she would not want an open adoption. When I asked why, she responded that she wouldn’t want a birthmother telling her how to raise the child.

I was a little surprised that this statement was coming from her because she has seen me interacting with Charlie and his adoptive family before and I have never tried to co-parent. I may tell him “no” if... more

Most of the adoptive parents I have met in person are not what I would call, on the open adoption bandwagon. When I have brought up my own arrangements with my children’s birthfamilies, I am mostly met with shock or blank stares. The looks I get tell me that perhaps no one has ever fully explained the possibility of a really open adoption to them. No one has educated them to believe that they could consider it for their own situations.

I would say some of the fault here might rest with the agency that they adopted with. Not enough thought... more

In my last post, I wrote about supporting friends that are birthmothers. But you may have a friend or friends who are pregnant and considering adoption that you are supporting as well.

It’s so nice for women pregnant and considering adoption to have a birthmother to share her experiences with. If she ultimately decides to place her baby for adoption, you are still able to support her through out the pregnancy. It’s helpful for her to have someone who understands the emotional... more

I admit I am probably the supreme procrastinator of all time. I always seem to miss the opportunities to preserve those special moments in life because I am so wrapped up in the actual living of the moment itself. Countless times I have found myself looking back and wishing I had taken more photos, video, and written in that expensive baby book. I should have put the Dr.’s notes of the kids milestones and growth where I could later find them (and differentiate whose was whose). I wish that I had made the phone calls, written the letters, taken the... more

If you have become an active member of the adoption community, you probably have some friends who are birthmothers.

Having friends that are birthmothers is nice because you each can be there to support one another through the emotional rollercoaster that open adoption is. When you are having a rough time emotionally, your friend can be a shoulder to lean on for you and vice versa for her when she is going through emotional times.

What are some things you can do to support other birthmother friends? 1. Think about what you want, need, and expect from... more

I always find it interesting when our family is out and about together that I almost always have someone, out of nowhere, approach me with an open wallet.

Before you think I am getting any cash gifts from total strangers, you should know that these people are opening the photo section of their wallets to me, sharing pictures of their children or grandchildren.

It never fails that someone sees our trans-racial family in public, and they immediately connect because they too have African American family members. I think this instant, intimate... more